So, I’m a 34 year old guy. I have 2 wonderful kids of my own and wasn’t prepared for the surprise of my life!
I’ve been dating a woman for several weeks now. We’ve had some really good sex in the last week, but last night she comes and tells me that she thinks she’s pregnant!
In my mind, the first thing that I do is scream. OMG! I already have all the kids I want, what am I going to do?
Then it dawns on me…I had a vasectomy 2 years ago! HAHA! I don’t know why my brain went into panic mode, but it did. I’m much more relieved now. So now I can deal with this as a rational adult without flipping out.
I asked her if she was sure it was mine and she swears I was the only one she has been sleeping with. Well, that’s obviously false, because…well, my fish can’t escape the net now. So I told her straight up that I didn’t believe her. She cried and asked how I could be so insensitive. I wasn’t going to drag this out so I came straight out and told her that I had a vasectomy after my daughter was born. I told her how I always knew I’d have 2 kids…one boy and one girl. I always knew the boy would be first and the girl would be my last. I told her how I waited several months after my daughter was born (to make sure she was healthy) before I committed to the vasectomy.
She didn’t believe me. So I went to my doctor and jerked off into a cup. I was provided with new papers to (again) verify that I was sterile.
I really don’t know why I’m posting this, but I feel very relieved right now. I avoided becoming baby-daddy. I avoided a crazy, slutty, bitch. I just want to warn guys that these women DO exist. Wrap up your cock, boys. And ladies, you should use birth control. There are guys that will sabotage condoms to make sure you get pregnant so you don’t leave them.
This has been a public service announcement sponsored by the NumberOneAsshole of Reddit.
TL;DR Crazy girl claims she’s pregnant, I’m sterile after vasectomy, use birth-control even if you believe the other party already is (this includes guys and girls).
submitted by NumberOneAsshole [link] [92 comments]
