I wanted to weigh in from the other side of the issue.
I’m married to an absolutely spectacular woman, and I couldn’t be happier about my decision. We’ve been married two years. We were engaged and living together for a year before that, and were dating for 4 years before that.
The sex is PHENOMENAL. It gets better every year. She’s the only woman I’ve ever been with who can make me come so hard I shake. There was no sudden, alarming change when we got married. There hasn’t been any kind of tapering off. Neither of us have let ourselves go. Our relationship “contract” includes the idea that we both have very real, physical sexual needs, and committing to each other for life involves taking responsibility for our partner’s sexual satisfaction. During the times that one of us hasn’t been up for it for whatever reason (health, job stress, whatever) we always make the stretch to accommodate each other. It really isn’t that hard to get someone off once or twice, especially when it’s someone you love, even if you aren’t in the mood. I can say, “Hey, could a get a beej right quick?” at pretty much any time and be met with an enthusiastic and immediate response.
I saw the thread on the front page about the unfortunate guy with the sexless marriage. Someone in the comments said that marriage seemed to have more cons than pros, and that had a lot of upvotes. It doesn’t if you do it right. Don’t settle. Don’t get married because you feel pressured or because you feel like it’s just the next thing to do. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t share your attitudes about sexuality. Don’t expect marriage to fix any existing problems you have. Marry someone who you love because you think they’ll be a good companion for the rest of your life. Talk beforehand about what you expect your marriage to look like, and realize that it’ll probably look about the same as your relationship does right now.
If you marry a woman who only gives blowjobs reluctantly, you will end up with a wife who only gives blowjobs reluctantly, or not at all. Marry a woman who loves sex and you’ll get a wife who loves sex.
Also, a quick shout out for the promiscuous ladies: women who genuinely love sex will usually (not always!) have slept with quite a few people. Don’t let it bother you. IT IS WORTH IT. Go out and find you an honest, trustworthy slut and you’ll be all set.
EDIT: Thanks for the upvotes, guys! The wifey is flattered. I am totally going to leverage this into anal. Yeeeaaaaaah.
LOOK OUT, IT’S ANOTHER EDIT: “You’ve only been married two years, just wait a few more, then you’ll be as sad and miserable as the rest of us.” Maybe, maybe not. I’ll never regret the decision I’ve made, regardless, and I say this from experience, having seen some of my most serious relationships fall apart in the worst ways possible in the past. It was the right choice at the time and I’ve been happy at least this long, and that’s something I’ll always have. The point is, things did not turn to shit as soon as I put a ring on her finger.
When I was 16, out-of-shape 20-year-olds told me that things would change when I hit college. When I turned 20, out-of-shape 30-year-olds told me everything would change when I hit 25. Later, it was 30. Now I’m almost 30 and I’m being told everything will change when I hit 40. Haters gonna hate. I like my marriage and you bastards can’t take that away from me. Myeh.
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