First of all, let me point out that I’m a guy, so women of Reddit, please tell me where I’m wrong.
I’m not great at anything in life, but it’s come to my attention over the years that I happen to be pretty good when it comes to making sexy time. So, I figured maybe I should pass on some of the things I’ve learned. And while you might not care about making sure the girl is enjoying herself, the truth is that the more she has fun, the more likely it’ll happen again, and again.
#1 – Make it all about her, at least at first It doesn’t have to be about her the entire time, but in the beginning you should focus on the girl as much as possible. This means spending a lot of time kissing, touching her in various places and making sure she’s really into what’s going on before you’re anywhere near having sex.
#2 – Kissing, lots of it … unless you suck at it. And if you suck at it, get better quickly. While there’s a time and place for crazy, tongue-darting kissing, I think you generally want to keep it more soft in the beginning and try to sort of “tease” the girl as much as possible. This means things like biting her bottom lip (gently, unless she’s into more and you know it) or having your lips come very close together, but not actually kissing. You’re trying to build sexual tension.
#3 Kissing, more of it … in places other than the mouth. You’ve seen in movies that some guy starts kissing a girl’s neck and she throws her head back and lets out a moan. Yea, that happens in real life if you do it correctly. First of all think back to high school and all the times you gave some girl a hickey (or got one from her). Don’t do that. You want to kiss her neck, maybe bite a little (or suck) and then stop and move to another area right near there. If you’re not sure where to kiss, follow her jawline (kissing along it) and go until you get to her ear – then maybe give that a little bite while you’re there.
#4 – Taking clothes off is not as easy as it looks in movies, but start undressing her. Clearly you’re going to be working off of the vibes she’s giving back to you, so if you start to undo her pants and she tells you no then that’s a whole other issue. But, if you’re to the point that sex is in the cards, then she probably wants you to “rip” her clothes off. There have been numerous times where I’ve been with a girl and had her completely naked before I’ve even taken my shoes off. If they’re not uncomfortable at this point they’re likely to return the favor and try to get you naked.
#5 – Be aggressive, but gentle, but dominant, but also loving. The point is that it really depends on the feedback you’re getting from her. Typically it would seem that many women want a man to be aggressive, pull her hair a little, take control of the situation. But there’s also a limit (although that limit is different for everyone). Just because your last girlfriend wanted you to bend her over the bed doesn’t mean your new girl does (although, she probably does too to be honest). This brings me to the next point:
#6 – Pay attention to feedback There are going to be signs after almost everything you do and it’s going to be up to you to interpret what these signs mean (unless she’s telling you exactly what to do, in which case there’s really no need to read this). Did she let out a sort of shocked but sort of excited sound when you pulled her hair? Then she’s probably into having you be slightly more aggressive. Did she say “ouch” when you bit her nipple? Well then you probably need to calm down a little, but she’s also probably not into that kind of thing and you need to turn it down a notch.
#7 – Have sex. Maybe. Hopefully you’re at the point where she’s asking you to “fuck” her, or something equally wonderful. If this is the case you’re going to have to know your limitations. You’ve got to work with what you’ve got and unfortunately some of us can’t last too long. If this is the case then you’re going to want to spend more time with your lady friend’s erogenous zones (which includes areas other than the crotch). Or, maybe you can start to have sex, but stop yourself when it’s becoming too much and move back to pleasing her in other ways. This again can build some sexual tension.
#8 – There is absolutely nothing wrong with the Missionary position. It’s not the most exciting position in the world, but to be honest the flying lotus or whatever position you have in mind from the Kama Sutra is probably overrated – and awkward. Go with the missionary position, but change it up a little with the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). Basically you’ll want to position yourself so you’re sort of “above” the girl. If you’re about the same height you’ll want it so your chin is above her head. If she’s a little person I don’t know what to tell you.
I’m sure some people are going to give me shit for this post, but I’m just throwing out some of the things that I try to do when I’m with a girl. And for the record, I haven’t been with a ton, and almost always it’s been in a relationship.
I’ve skipped over some points to make sure this isn’t too long (too late, right), so I’m not saying this is a definitive list. But, hopefully through the power of Reddit, we can expand on it.
Anyone out there have any thoughts on the above? Or some suggestions of their own?
TL;DR – If you want your girl to enjoy herself during sex, make it about her and do a lot of kissing, everywhere.
submitted by erotic_majesty [link] [32 comments]
