The story begins in 2009, a young man, me, is seen playing his favorite online video game, chatting with his best friends. This young man plays online video games because he is home schooled. He has much time to waste and no real life friends to waste time with.
One of my closest friends, a fun, carefree girl, had always wanted to see what I looked like. Up until then, I knew what she looked like because I talked to her via camera gadgetry, but I was too shy and insecure about myself to show my end of the stream so she didn’t know. One day, I was finally brave enough to show her a picture of myself. She was surprised at what I looked like! She was not expecting at all that I was Asian, but she told me I was cute and hot. A second later, she asked me “but does that mean your penis is small?!” I froze for a second but then I hastily typed “no it’s not!” and hit send. “Oh good!” was her response.
Up until then, I hadn’t really cared about the size of my cock. The first thing I did later that night was I went and measured myself…There I was, my 16 year old self, sitting in the bathroom with a ruler. Now I wasn’t a shower in that my flaccid length was less than one inch. You could say I was a grower, considering it shot up four inches when I got it all up and aroused. I marked myself, from the tip to the base (pushing the ruler down as much as I could), as being four inches!
I went on the internet to see how big or small I really was…bad decision. I found out that I was an inch and a half below the average! Despair! I did some more reading and I read that some females put more weight on the thickness than the length, so I got a measuring tape and it was back to the bathroom with me. I got it stiffy and wrapped the tape around me and I got the thickness – four inches around. I looked online again and, yet again, I found that even my thickness was one inch! below the average.
At this point I started to feel rather insecure about my little guy. I started asking questions about it on the internet. Does it matter? Will a girl laugh at me? Will I be able to make her happy? Will she like it? All of those questions dawned on me. I got a lot of responses with a lot of different opinions. Some opinions made me feel better, some made me feel worse. In the end, I still felt the same = insecure. To top it off, I felt stupid asking on the internet, but I felt like I didn’t have a choice because I was scared to ask my friend about it, and I didn’t have any real life friends to turn to about this — not like I would have told any real life friends about this.
Eventually, I got the courage to ask that girl, my close friend, about what she would think if she was my girlfriend and if I had a small cock. She told me not to worry about it one bit because she would love me and my cock regardless of size, and that she was just joking about size before. “Why? Is yours small?” she asked me. I said yes, it was 4 inches. “4 inch is not that small! Stop worrying, most girls won’t care about this at all! It’s fine! I promise!” she replied.
I felt very comforted by this, because she was always such a kind and honest girl, and I had known her for almost 4 years at that point and I really trusted her. But a little part of me still couldn’t shake it off for some reason.
So then I gallivanted all over the internet, I even made like 10s of throwaway reddit accounts, and asked the question to others. The question I asked wasn’t “Does size matter?” but instead “How do I get past my insecurity?” This was on and off for a year, up until recently.
One day, just recently (early 2011 recently), I spoke to another one of my friends online and the subject about sex had come up casually in the conversation. One thing lead to another, and by the end, she told me something that finally helped me get over this whole deal.
“It’s not your size that’s the problem, it’s your lack of confidence” she said to me. “The reason you can’t get over it is because you haven’t been in a situation that has allowed you to get over it. You’re 18 and the only thing you’ve learned about dating and sex is from porn at this point, and that’s got a really skewed view of it.” She was right, I was 18 years old, in college now, and I hadn’t ever had any sort of sexual encounter, let alone a date.
She said “In time, your confidence will grow the more you expand your socialization, and you’ll meet a lot of girls. Not all of them will work out with you, but don’t let those bad encounters put you down either! Think of your cock as like a bitch-detector. Whenever you whip out your cock, if she acts childishly disappointed, makes lusty comments about her half-horse ex, or even laughs, just go flaccid immediately and say “Whoops, you just set my bitch-detector off”!” Before we ended the conversation, she said “be confident, okay? You’re a great guy, and it would be a shame if no girl could ever see how awesome you are because you’re clouded by your insecurities.” That was that. I sort of put two and two together after that.
She taught me how to joke about it. Not in the sense of putting myself down, but in the sense that I could joke about being the size I am without letting it bother me. She taught me to always try to look on any possible bright side in a dark situation. She taught me to stop focusing on what makes me different in a bad way, and start focusing on what makes me different in a good way.
She taught me how to be myself. She taught me how to be comfortable with myself.
Now it’s today, I’m still 18, I still haven’t had sex or gone out on a date, but I couldn’t give two shits about the mathematical value of my cock, even if I tried. I don’t even care that I’m still a virgin. I’m like one of the last remaining romantics, and I want the first sexy time I have to be super special. (My friend told me that I’m adorable because of that, and she hopes it’ll be special for me too. :3)
I felt like I needed to get this weird and winding story off my chest.
And to end this story, one of the awesome things I’ve found out is that my cock is a freakin’ cum rocket if I don’t fap for a while. ;D
submitted by offmymind [link] [1 comment]
