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Angelina Valentine, Chayse Evans, and Sadie West make the perfect porno world through the looking glass version of Charmed's Prue, Piper, and Phoebe in Hustler's "This Ain't Charmed XXX" directed by Axel Braun. Sexy spooky good fun ensues!Angelina Valentine and Jenny Hendrix team up on a demon cock and the results are out of this world. Both this chicks are nothing short of top shelf. They knock out an award winning performance working with what they've got.Chayse Evans charms Alan Stafford's prick to rigid attention. He rewards her dedication with a hard fucking that has her shrieking in delight and writhing on the floor like she was Linda Blair.Marie Luv lovingly sucks Tyler's wood while he finishes a work call. When that doesn't seem to get him off the phone she mounts his enormous ebony love pole and begins to buck her tiny little wet gash up and down until she has his undivided attention. After soaking in all the love she has to give, Tyler flips her on her side and goes to work, prying open her sticky pink flower for us so we get a good look inside. When he's done probing her sweet vagina he turns to her pucker and burrows his way deep up into her dirty bung. Marie really takes it like a champ, demanding more as Tyler plows through several positions lodged in her tiny rectum then dumps white rain drops of sperm all over her face and breasts.Ryder Skye gets drilled nice and hard until she drools out of all her sexy holes.Sadie West turns in another career changing performance. Watching her fuck is like pure magic. Pay attention aspiring porn starlets of 2010 – this is what sex is supposed to look like. No we really don't have enough positive things to say about our sweet Sadie. The list just goes on and on. But you don't have to take our word for it. All you have to do is get a glance of her in the sample set of pictures we snagged from Hustler. The proof is all right there. Hands down she's the first one we're rubbing one out to in any movie after that performance!"This Ain't Charmed XXX" hits streets this week from visionary Italian director Axel Braun and Hustler. Check out the gallery, then pick yourself up a copy for a spooky good time.Angelina Valentine, Chayse Evans, and Ryder SkyeBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Angelina Valentine and Jenny HendrixBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Angelina Valentine and Jenny HendrixBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Angelina Valentine and Jenny HendrixBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Angelina Valentine and Jenny HendrixBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Angelina Valentine and Jenny HendrixBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Chayse Evans and Alan StaffordBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Chayse Evans and Alan StaffordBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Chayse Evans and Alan StaffordBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Chayse Evans and Alan StaffordBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Chayse Evans and Alan StaffordBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Marie Luv and Tyler KnightBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Marie Luv and Tyler KnightBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Marie Luv and Tyler KnightBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Marie Luv and Tyler KnightBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Marie Luv and Tyler KnightBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Ryder SkyeBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Ryder SkyeBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Ryder SkyeBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Ryder SkyeBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Ryder SkyeBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)Sadie WestBuy "This Ain't Charmed XXX" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustler.com)
No one ever gets to the actual intervention before their problems are solved. Why? Obviously you can't get your dick sucked with the whole family around.This Ain't Intervention XXXStudio: Hustler VideoDirector: Slain WayneCast: Britney Amber, Kagney Linn Karter, Raylene, Cody Love, Briana Blair, Amy Brooke, Seth Gamble, Arnold Schwarzenpecker, Jerry, Joey Brass, Brett RockmanWhen you first heard about a porn parody of A&E's Intervention series, what came to mind? Did you envision sex addicts? Naughty rehabilitation techniques? Whatever you thought of is probably more interesting than what Hustler and Slain Wayne dreamed up.Only one (two-part) vignette deals with any sex-related issue, and it's really only about Seth Gamble's chronic masturbation. Gamble is the perfect guy for this; he looks like the bad boy from every mid 1990s sitcom ever. His mother, Raylene, is tired of his masturbation getting in the way of family life, and he gets her assistants to sit with them for the intervention. However, the intervention never happens.Downstairs, Cody Love tries to get Raylene to relax with a back rub. One thing leads to the next, and they start scissoring. Sadly, the gritty Intervention-style camera displays weak resolution, and the delicate intricacies of labial smooshing are lost to the viewer. Meanwhile, Gamble is in his room with another one of Raylene's aides, Briana Blair. Blair tells Gamble he has a "huge problem," but Gamble only heard "huge cock" so he unzips his fly. Gamble fucks her with strange intimacy, often clutching her body to his, before he crudely busts on her face. He's cured! Except now Blair is stuck with him.True to its name, "This Ain't Intervention XXX" has few intervention scenes. Brett Rockman and Amy Brooke were waiting for the family to show up and talk about Brooke's gambling addiction, but a friendly game of poker became strip poker, became blowjob poker, and finally became threesome-with-sloppy-facefucking-and-anal poker when Joey Brass walked in. It's simultaneously the most daring and the most boring scene in the film, as Brooke's monotone moans color her fucking the same drab beige as the hotel room. At least her gambling addiction gets cured.The star-studded vignette about hoarding features Britney Amber as a pack rat, Kagney Linn Karter as her friend, and Jerry as some French professor who hangs out with them. They actually (briefly) have an intervention, but Karter gets frustrated and storms off followed by Jerry. Like any good, sensitive intellectual would, Jerry goes straight to eating Karter's pussy, and then flips the script with an intense bit of throatfucking that leaves her forehead covered in spit. Karter is, as always, a joy to watch, and the oral creampie at the end makes for a refreshing bit of fappable novelty in an otherwise redundant film.Britney Amber tries to steal a tripod from the cameraman, Arnold Schwarzenpecker, and then offers to trade him a blowjob for the equipment. It's a creative excuse to have a bit of POV sucking, but Schwarzenpecker drops the camera within minutes. There's nothing else remarkable about the scene, except the strange sense that Britney Amber looks like every other girl in this film.It's true, every girl in "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (with the exception of Raylene) has blonde hair with dark brown roots and squeaks when fucked. We're not demanding diverse casts for every porn, but this movie greatly suffered from redundancy and lack of creativity.A good parody considers the themes and overarching structures of its subject, and pays attention to the critical pieces of the show. For example, if you're going to poke fun at Intervention, you might want to have a few interventions in your movie. Even if you don't, you can link your fuckfest to the original show by including the counselors, the black title cards, or the joyous post-rehab reunions. Something! Anything! Please, Hustler, we need a parody fix and this was just a nasty tease.· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)
If there's one thing that fuels the porn business, keeps it from being regulated, or unionized, and protects its overlords, the owners who finance these elicit fantasies, it's the transient nature of its all voluntary work force.We get to live out our fantasies with one reincarnation after another of the same sixteen sex types, as generation after generation graduates to the big leagues and washes up onto our sticky shores. We're going to overlook the shadier side of the street for now, because nobody wants to hear it anyway, except for religious zealots, women's groups, misguided dogooders, and power grabbing politicians with an ax to grind. Moving on then.The bright side of this equation is the never ending stream of "Brand New Faces"...volume 23. See? And you thought we wouldn't be able to find a way to work that in there. O ye of little faith.Vivid Video, an innovator and one of the Big Five powerhouses of porn (1.Vivid-2.Wicked-3.Adam&Eve-4.Hustler-5.Digital Playground) takes us back to the root of what porn thrives on with this dynamic but simple series. Really, it isn't much different than what Ed Powers started a zillion years ago, except that it's shot well and isn't the creepiest thing you've ever seen short of Reagan Senter's home movies. Moving on then.First up, sexy little newcummer Aryan Astyn takes a ride on the Nick Manning express and learns the hard way that good things cum to those who fuck hard for them.Then Brooke Bennett and Alex Gonz do the wild tango as he lovingly jams his all baloney pony deep into her sticky pink love nest.After which one of our favorite new sluts on the cock, Capri Cavalli, does the dirtiest dance there is with super stud Marco Banderas, taking his massive tool all the way to the balls up her tiny pink flower.Charisma and Tony De Sergio get down to some steamy business before sassy Rosie Thorn and Jerry close this chapter of the book shut."Brand New Faces 23" comes out this month from Vivid. Take a look at these snaps. We think you're going to like them just fine. And for those of you who don't want to celebrate the blossoming of a young woman's sexuality with us, that fiery phoenix of lust rising up from within these girls souls like an insatiable demonic furnace and demanding miles of hard cock, feel free to skip them and go right to lambasting us in our own comments section. You are quite welcome!Rosie ThornBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Rosie ThornBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Rosie ThornBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Rosie ThornBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Rosie ThornBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)CharismaBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)CharismaBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)CharismaBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)CharismaBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)CharismaBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Capri CavalliBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Capri CavalliBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Capri CavalliBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Capri CavalliBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Capri CavalliBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Brooke BennettBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Brooke BennettBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Brooke BennettBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Brooke BennettBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Brooke BennettBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Aryan AstynBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Aryan AstynBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Aryan AstynBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)Aryan AstynBuy "Brand New Faces #23" (gamelink.com)Vivid (vivid.com)
If Hustler had offered Shannen Doherty a role in "This Ain't 90210", would she have taken it? We'd even settle for a solo scene, Shannen.Also, we're not entirely sure why this is in Hungarian (at least, we think it's Hungarian). But hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. We will, however, be filing this gift horse in our brains under a little corner called "Fap Fantasies From the 1990s."· Shannen Doherty Topless In "Playboy" Magazine Jan. 2004 (nebulasnudecelebs.blogspot.com)
If there is one thing we've learned over the years from people like Joe Francis, it's that teens love cash almost as much as they love the endless attention they get from mindlessly exposing their privates to strangers.Senor Matt Morningwood over at Pink Visual is simply following the footsteps of Joe and those of his ilk, really, when he gets really super old dudes with fists full of hard American green backs to lure in legal teen prostitutes and turn those little tricks in training out. It's dynomite—yep, even when it really just isn't, ya dig?Even if this weren't entirely staged with performers you've already seen on the cover of everything from Hustler to Vivid boxes (with brief stop overs into Porno Dan's Questionably Legal Sex Shack) that wouldn't change the facts: these girls were bound to end up as sex workers no matter how you cut it. It's not like they managed to entice impressionable young women on the verge of financial ruin and convinced them to do the unthinkable (gasp!) for some quick cash to save the family farm. These little Knudsens came action packed with boundary issues long before Mister Morningwood found them—they ran off with Karl Hungus years ago, if only in their minds.These days, those of us who can still churn a semi-honest living out of the jizz biz often hear from the "fresh" crop of new starlets that they'd been considering this line of work back when they should have been playing with My Little Pony, that they gave book reports on Jenna's autobiography in high school. This is what happens when you try to mainstream porn, people.All that being said, there's nothing wrong with "Teens for Cash 17" at all. In fact, as far as these things go, it's downright entertaining. Okay, we fucking loved it. What the hell do you want from us? It's like "Dirty Dancing" or "To Wong Foo": we know we shouldn't like them, but Schwayze is in them, so we watch them anyway, and then we end up liking them—but never ever talking about it.Gross old degenerates Dick Nasty and Dirty Harry convince Ryzell that fucking them is worth some quick cash. We're not so sure. We were thinking about setting up a scholarship fund after witnessing this. So super sleazy, but that's the kink right?Kelly Summers goes wild for a fist full of dollars from cowboys Maleboro and Rick Masters. Former retired pornstar turned pastor turned back pornstar Rod Fontana guides one of his young flock to his aging cock. He and Dick Nasty (most appropriate name in porn since Tommy Gunn) proselytize to the impressionable young soul and in the end decide the fastest way to salvation is for her to buy herself a stairway to heaven after they violate her sweet young hole with their decrepit old wrinkled genitals and baptize her in the milky waters of their dysfunctional, rotting sperm. They make such a good team, Matt pairs them up with succulent Cara Dee as well. We've got to say despite the scathing rebuke we feel we just laid down (biting snark now included free of charge!), it's still a fucking hot scene. Damn, we are hypocrites."Teens for Cash 17" comes out this week from Pink Visual. Check out this mega gallery and decide for yourselves if it's worth it to snatch up a copy. God, we love little girls. We take it all back. 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The execution is weak. It's as if Hustler is playing at creepy the way women who've never borne children play at milfery. We want to see "Daddy" plucked from utter despair by some hot young thing, but it's too easy.The performer Joe Blow is an amicable and professional dude who seems to find himself in lucky situations. Maybe he's 40, but with so many porn guys over 40 (Evan Stone and Tommy Gunn come to mind) who don't play the "dad" angle, we don't really believe the premise the way we would if it were Rod Fontana, Dick Nasty, Ron Jeremy, or Randy Spears.Here's a sample setup. Pixieish Marie McCray is sulking on a curb as Joe drives by."Is that you?" he says."Me and Billy just got into a really big fight," she says."My son Billy?" he says.No, you ass, Billy Carter.This is not a bad movie sex-wise, but if you're one of those sickos with a narrative fetish, stick with honest-to-God creepiness like "Crack Whore Confessions."· Hustler (hustler.com)· Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Daddy Gets Lucky 2" (gamelink.com)
Who are we kidding? Porn series are at a loss for novel ideas once they're in the single digits, but that's why "Barely Legal" is still fun - these women think your filthy designs on them are new.That is not to say that director Matti Klatt - a longtime Hustler photographer - hasn't brought an excellent eye for what is appealing in a nude 18-or-19-year-old but, let's face it - few things aren't.But these scenes with the likes of nubile Shyla Jennings, Kasey Chase, and the cleverly named Izy-Bella Blu, shot not only at poolside and at standard-issue Porn Valley rental McMansions but also in the forest and in the desert with Humvees and ultralight planes, prove that there is as much life in this series as there is in the not-so-innocent stars as well as the depraved older men who watch them.· Hustler (hustler.com)· Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)Hustler (hustler.com)Buy "Barely Legal 102" (gamelink.com)
The reign of gargantuan penis continues with the impending release of "Scary Big Dicks 3" from Hustler. Young women who care about maintaining the elasticity of their vagina may very well view this material as a cautionary tale.The only problem being that once the sheer terror of having a massive piece of cock meat crammed all the way up inside of them passes, an experience not entirely dissimilar to being fucked wide open by a fire hydrant, the resulting sensation can only be described as unmitigated euphoria.Ashli Orion, Bella Cole, Dani Jensen, Lexi Belle, Lindy Lane, and Tiffany Star enjoy a spooky goody fucking from the very scary dicks they are supposed to be terrified of, which is a terrible way to scare wayward young sluts straight. Ultimately the only petrified at the end of each scene has been the male performers wood.Spunky little sex demon Lexi Belle is used to taking man sized power fuckings deep into her tiny little snatch. With her sweet little ass jutting out in doggy and a rigid pole drilled deep in the pink we can still see her little flower clinging to the rod each time he pulls back to slam it in deeper.Light of my life, fire of my loins...Tiffany Star is exactly the kind of brand spanking new porn star we've been dreaming about for years now. Straddling the border between "don't even think about it" and "fair game" young Star portrays a coquettish innocence that inspires the most fulfilling kinds of predatory emotions the way only a precocious Lolita can. She reminds us that while our imagination is capable of extraordinary feats when it comes to sexual fantasy nothing compares to the illicit rush of the genuine thing."Scary Big Dicks 3" will be out soon, but we've gone ahead and snatched up a fine selection of the goods for you to peruse now. Thanks again to Hustler and Larry Flynt for another impressive release.Lexi BelleBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Lexi BelleBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Lexi BelleBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Lexi BelleBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Lexi BelleBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Lindy LaneBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Lindy LaneBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Lindy LaneBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Tiffany StarBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Tiffany StarBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Tiffany StarBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Tiffany StarBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Tiffany StarBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Ashli OrionBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Ashli OrionBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Ashli OrionBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Ashli OrionBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Ashli OrionBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Ashli OrionBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Dani JensenBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Dani JensenBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Dani JensenBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Dani JensenBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Dani JensenBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Dani JensenBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Bella ColeBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Bella ColeBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Bella ColeBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Bella ColeBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)Bella ColeBuy "Scary Big Dicks 3" (gamelink.com)Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
So maybe we're a little obsessed with "This Ain't Star Trek"—so what? It's got everything we love: Kimberly Kane, Keni Styles, Evan Stone..."Star Trek"...did we mention Kimberly Kane? Look, Jeff Koga photographed her on set!We don't know what she's doing (well, aside from giving Evan Stone a handjob), but we do love this Butterfly Queen look she's rocking. Just look at her in this photo from Hustler: she's downright magical!· See more pictures at Hustler World (hustlerworld.com)
We may be sitting at home fantasizing about the making (and watching) of Hustler's second Star Trek porn...but Friend of Fleshbot Jeff Koga actually got to be on set (lucky bastard!).While there, he met alien girl Madison Scott and Tony "Spock" De Sergio (at left)...and even got a tour of the bridge! We can't express how jealous we are...in fact, we're so jealous, we're just going to have to seethe all over the rest of his photos (housed at LAist).· This Ain't Star Trek XXX 2 (laist.com)· See more behind the scenes action at Hustler World (hustlerworld.com)
Newly-minted Angeleno Keni Styles plays Sulu in Hustler's latest 60's-era "Star Trek" parody, but the London native had a little trouble getting George Takei's signature style down on the set.At first, Styles sounded a little bit like Terrence Stamp as Helmsman Sulu but, when everyone in the room did his (or her - Jada Fire as Uhura gave some pointers too) take on Takei, Styles nailed the accent.But of greater concern to "Trek" fans is that Styles will play Sulu as a heterosexual. He and Joey Brass (who plays Chekov) will team up on the impossibly delicious alien girl Madison Scott.If Sulu ever got the action Kirk did on the show - if, perhaps, the good Captain broke off a piece for the staff now and then - maybe Takei and Shatner would be friends today. As it is, Evan Stone's Kirk presides over an Enterprise crew that at least gets to go (Tony DeSergio's Spock samples Kagney Linn Karter, Anthony Rosano's Scotty goes warp speed on Jada Fire) where many men have gone before.· See more behind the scenes action at Hustler World (hustlerworld.com)· Photo by Jeff Koga, (koganuts.com, see more @ laist.com)
Aaron Spelling doesn't hold the same casting power at Hustler that he does in other arenas.This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXXStudio: Hustler VideoDirector: Axel BraunCast: Alexis Texas, Madison Ivy, Jenny Hendrix, Alanah Rae, Tiffany Star, Mackenzie Pierce, Chris Johnson, Joey Brass, Brad Hardy, Eric John, Alan StaffordLike all episodes of "Beverly Hills 90210," the movie opens in medias res during an angsty meal at the Peach Pitt (not the Peach Pit). Donna, played by Jenny Hendrix, is a cesspool of sadness, but the rest of the gang doesn't care. Jake Hanson (Alan Stafford) just drifted into town and he's looking for a job. Brenda (Madison Ivy, who looks just so much like Shannon Doherty it's frightening) and Dylan (Joey Brass) are planning their trip to Mexico, trying to keep their vacation secret from Brenda's folks. Steve (Brad Hardy) is looking for love, and about to lose Kelly (Alexis Texas) to someone else. The overstuffed plot seems like a lot to handle at first, but it thins out relatively quickly once everyone splits up to have sex, er, tackle some tough issues...Hands down, Donna's storyline is the best. I had my doubts at first; I thought this wouldn't be worth watching if Tori Spelling wasn't involved in a gangbang, but I was wrong. Not only does Jenny Hendrix beautifully capture Donna's mouth-breather visage and stilted walk, she's every bit as mopey as you could hope. She goes to get some advice from Mr. Walsh (Eric John), because her parents are getting divorced/dying of cancer."You know, Donna," Mr. Walsh soothingly says, "your body is going through a lot of changes right now. Every girl fantasizes about having sex with their best friend's dad." Then he tells her to close her eyes and open her mouth. Mr. Walsh does this! Oh, Eric John, you're the finest authority figure pervert in parody porn.The only real disappointment was Brandon's scene. Mackenzie Pierce and Tiffany Star—luckily the only added characters in the movie—walk into the restaurant after closing and seduce Chris Johnson. No real point to it. However, it does contain the only bit of anal sex in the film, jackhammer style, so that's worth something. Honestly, beyond this one disturbance, I thought "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" was surprisingly successful.Why did this parody work? Like any decent teen drama should, the genuine "90210" focused heavily on young people exploring relationships and sex. There's a section in the Behind The Scenes footage in which superfan Alexis Texas recounts the important milestones of the show, and they're all about hooking up, fucking, and breaking up. It may be an exaggeration, but it shows what left a lasting impression on viewers. The fact that Hustler took sex from the awkward pedestal Aaron Spelling placed it on and injected it into the warp and woof of daily Beverly Hills life actually made a difference. It was an appropriate act of subversion.And I personally think some credit is due to the stylists, casting people, and (of course) performers. If a pornstar wasn't the spitting image of her primetime counterpart, she was at least crazily oversexed in an appropriate way. Alexis Texas barely looks a thing like Kelly, but she had the greedy rich girl attitude. Alanah Rae's boobs are far too bananas to be Andrea Zuckerman's, but she fucks just like a girl who isn't sure if she's a MILF.I know Hustler and Axel Braun didn't really do much differently. They just stuck in the same sexual formula as always, and it happened to be more fruitful with this subject matter. Maybe this signals a more discerning eye for what to spoof in the future. Or maybe they just got lucky.· Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)* * * * *Previously: The Beverly Hills Cure For NearsightednessBuy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)Buy "This Ain't Beverly Hills 90210 XXX" (gamelink.com)
For those of you who thought Hustler's porn parodies had gone too far: oh, they haven't even begun yet. Among the list of their upcoming titles: "This Ain't Avatar XXX" and "This Ain't Glee XXX." (hustlerworld.com)
These days, sex tapes are pretty much a celebrity rite of passage—so we'd be more surprised if there wasn't a Lindsay Lohan sex tape on its way to us right now.What we know so far: the video is a whopping 47 seconds, and allegedly features Lindsay naked with an unknown male. Hustler's already been offered the tape, and declined (presumably because their not Lindsay porn was much, much sexier). Lindsay is (of course) denying the tape's existence...but the Fleshbot jury will remain undecided until we actually see the tape in question.· Lindsay Lohan worried her sex tape will get leaked online (mirror.co.uk)· Photo from Muse Magazine
"We all just met for the first time just about a half hour ago," said newly-minted Digital Playground contract superstar Kayden Kross of her introduction to the jet-setting gaggle. "There's a lot of them." Kross, who has held more contracts with studios (Hustler, Vivid, Adam & Eve, and DP) than any other current porn star, said there is always a pecking order among the ladies. "I just don't know what the hierarchy is yet," she said. "I've met Jesse Jane before, and everyone else seems sweet and nice, too." "Did you have pillowfights?" I begged. "Do each other's hair? Play records?" "No." Whether in a ball gown or just sitting around for her 200th interview that day, Kross always gives off a healthy glow. Doubtless it derives from the fabled Island of Contract Girls, on which Kross owns a loft. · Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com) · Kayden Kross (clubkayden.com)
We heard they originally wanted to do "This Ain't For Whom The Bell Tolls XXX," but no one will finance a porn with Francisco Franco in it. This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX Studio: Hustler Video Director: Axel Braun Cast: Misty Stone, Missy Stone, Ashlyn Rae, Nicole Ray, April O'Neil, Ally Ann, Ralph Long, Mikey Butders, Eric John, Scott Stone So, basically, the kids of Bayside High have jumped into another school year, and they're all 18 now. Before the credits roll, some unnamed rogue flashes a random cheerleader (Nicole Ray) in the showers, and she sucks his dick. Post-facial, the bell rings and the mystery penis runs out of the girls' locker room and past Lisa (Misty Stone), Kelly (Ashlyn Rae), and Jesse (Missy Stone). That's about the most important detail. In other news: Screech (Ralph Long) wants Lisa, Slater (Mikey Butders) wants Jesse, and Zack (Scott Stone) wants Kelly. In the typical parody porn style, Kelly and Zack have the last scene together. Although the tension between them builds throughout the movie, they don't seem that eager to hump when it comes to it. Kelly arbitrarily decides to get changed for the dance (while sitting in the cafeteria, for some reason), and Zack automatically whips his cock out. I know it's pointless to complain about the acting in a porno, but they should at least be able to act horny. Also, a word about Eric John. Remember back when the Seinfeld porn came out? He was great in that (I thought)! He wasn't necessarily funny, but he at least tried to embody the role of Kramer, er, "Crammer" in his cadence and spastic entrances. But since then, he's consistently played the same sleepy stand-in with a big cock. His Principal Belding isn't awful, but it's saddening. As Sir Laurence Olivier said: acting is overacting, and Mr. Belding sounds like this. The only things saving these non-existent bells are the extraneous female characters. Sure, it's great to watch Screech bone Lisa instead of taking her to the dance, but that's only because Dustin Diamond was out of the picture. The real heroes are Ally Ann, April O'Neil, and Nicole Ray. Ally Ann plays some random chick who wants to screw Zack and Slater in the hallway for no good reason. Sadly, Zack chickens out because of his Kelly-fidelity. April (who needs to do more movies, even if she'll only do lesbian scenes) plays an adorable activist nerd who has a finger -painting and -fucking session with Jessie. Nicole is that ubiquitous cheerleader, and not only does she suck the disembodied penis in the first scene, she's also found underneath Mr. Belding's desk while he's disciplining some troublesome youths. It's a sad fact that parody porn writers have to rely on artificial fringe characters to make their movies work. I don't think these extra bodies are inevitable, only that people find it hard to let them go. They're exceptional (at least by proxy) performances make the main characters look dull, but hey, they give writers and actors a little more freedom and creativity, and a little less worry about keeping with canon. Hey, writers! Maybe this means you'd be better without the parody. · Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) · Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) * * * * * Previously: Zoiks! Screech Can Really Go Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com) Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com) Buy "This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX" (gamelink.com)
When a Fort Myers Beach town manager was fired for being married to a pornstar (Jazella Moore), it looked like hard times for the ostracized family. But then Hustler stepped in. Ok, really, Hustler is just doing a photo spread of Jazella Moore. We're not saying Hustler saved this family's life, or even gave Jazella a steady paycheck, but they did help turn lemons into lemonade. Not only does this publicize the ridiculousness of the Fort Myers Beach council (the decision was handed down last June, and the story resurfaces from time to time), but by helping Jazella adopt the moniker, "Controversial Cougar," they show the path for turning public shame into personal benefit. As far as human interest stories go, this is probably one of our favorites. · Jazella Moore (jazellamoore.com) · Ousted Politician's Wife Gets Hustler Photo Spread (xbiz.com) · More Jazella at 40 Something Mag (gallys.40somethingmag.com)
The wholesale franchising of our beloved Uncle Larry's brainchild continues this week with the release of 'Barely Legal Babysitters' – a heartwarming tale that will leave your genitals feeling like you just date raped a York peppermint patty. So just when you thought that there were no really good taboos left for porn to legally exploit, that pretty much everything had been fetishized and spanked to, overfarmed to such gross lengths that nothing short of taking an electric sander to your nether regions was going to get a response, Hustler bounces back with someone you forgot to yank your crank to – the babysitter? Duh! How did we forget her? It's so simple, so wholesome, that we must have overlooked it while we were thumbing through old stacks of National Geographic's and Mexican gore magazines. Devious genius Will Ryder brings this Barely Legal gem to the light of day, packing the maiden launch of this spin-off with a cast sweet enough to induce a diabetic coma. London Keyes, Madison Scott, Mya Mason, Tawni Ryden, and Zeina Hart take turns being the exploited slash sexually curious help for hire, which works out nicely, since they are all pretty used to being paid by the hour for their services. We are convinced that absolutely no one loves cock more than Madison Scott. Watching her ravenously Hoover up cock into every tight and tiny lubricious crevice on her body is enough to give anyone pause, even hardened pornographers like ourselves. With the face of a very young girl juxtaposed against a woman sized rack of ample proportions she manages to inspire most of the sexually depraved emotions we require to dig deep down into our innermost parts and really surrender to that body wracking, mind halting orgasm. Watch her perform is like watching a sexual exorcism, we're kinda of terrified but we can't look away because we are rock hard the whole time. On that score, we are kinda feeling like maybe she isn't the best person to leave in charge of your children. None of these little barely legal nymphomaniacs are for that matter. We have no doubt that they will neglect your kids, rummage through your wife's jewelry drawer, try on clothes, drink your booze, call their older boyfriends and their friends to come over and hang out and pull trains on their filthy, whorish asses. Yeah, we said it. Once again Larry's got us thinking that we we're needing is what he's selling. Ah capitalism...it's such a clever trick. 'Barely Legal Babysitters' releases next week but since we are super cool and drive crazy amounts of traffic they gave us an exclusive sneak peek to share with you now. We believe it was Gene Simmons who said it best when he screeched "lick it up!"
Who among us hasn't dreamed of the kinky thrill of anonymous sex with total strangers, the kind you get by using a glory hole in a public bathroom? It's wrong, it's dirty, it's illegal—and we can't look away. We can remember almost every single story we've read recounting the big trip to the sex hole—the danger, the excitement, the smell, the fear of what might happen to your genitals left exposed through a hole, in the hands of some deranged sociopath. You know, your Uncle Larry wants you to share in the fun without having to risk getting arrested—or finding out you just got sexed the fuck up by George Bush. That's why he's taking his shiny Barely Legal franchise off the rails and driving that shit right into the gutter, down with the common sleaze bag degenerate perverts. Yes, Larry Flynt is a man of the people. Always has been. Infamous director Anton Slayer superglues some chunky ass, monster-sized, whorishly black eye lashes onto a group of legal teen newbies, instantly transforming them from coquettish flirts into sperm guzzling cum dumpsters willing to suck and fuck anything that comes through the hole he's cut in the wall. Don't believe us? Check the images below. It even says so right on the motherfucking box cover! (And really....you're going to start doubting us now? Come on, kid.) It's a disturbingly fast transformation, the kind that keeps every single last GOP senator waking up in cold sweats, night after night, screaming in terror for their young daughters' chastity—well, maybe not Larry Craig. He might be screaming for a different reason. Take Aubrey Addams, for example. She looks all young and innocent...well, until she starts blowing random cock, rimming out strangers for kicks, then taking a prick meat stabbing up her pink tunnel of love. It's like a switch goes off and Daddy's little girl just loses her mind! Gone is the sweet girl that used to want a pony and dream of being a helping sick animals. In her place is a trick turning pro, ravenous to get stanky junk rubbed all over her face, dying to take a load or sixteen, hell bent to catch something nasty or fuck herself to exhaustion trying. She goes hog wild at the glory hole without very little direction from Slayer. Sometimes directing is just about putting all the right elements in place and giving the talent permission to do what they do best. For Dakoda Brookes, it's a different story. Extremely risky sexual behavior is the only way she can get off these days. Hardened by a short adult life filled with oversized cocks pummeling her in the uterus, she can only reach full satisfaction now by attempting nastier sex acts. The plain old vanilla sex just won't cut it. We were (not) told last week that a new paramour professed his love to her while they were having sex and she fell asleep on him in disgust. You think making porn doesn't take a toll? How else can you explain her barely legal body being riddled with bad tattoos before she's even legal to drink? Britney Amber, Cameron Love, and Crista Moore complete this filthy experiment, each turning in sufficiently stomach churning sex acts of utter depravity . We're still not sure how we feel. It's kind of a mix of nut busting excitement mashed up with that residual aftermath of shame you get coming down off cocaine. We're kinda of thinking this might have been what Slayer was going for in the first place. Whatever his intentions were, it's clear that Barely Legal has taken a shortcut down crack alley and we're not sure it's ever coming back. Even if these legal teen runaways come home and clean up, they will forever be tainted by what they've done. Every time their fathers look at them, they'll see lines of strangers waiting to stuff their swollen, smelly junk through a hole in the wall and into their little girls face. Oh, the humanity! And to think—they could have gone on to do such great things! "Barely Legal Glory Holes" is available now from Hustler. We hope it was worth it, Mr. Slayer. You're going to have to live with it now. (Last but not least: for those of you who took any of this hyperbole seriously—and are ready to flood our comment section with snarky comebacks—it's a new decade. Maybe it's time to lighten up. We love porn. We have great respect for the women who perform in it—for the most part. Thanks for reading and having a happy and safe New Year's Eve. See you next year!) 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If this millennium has delivered anything shocking, it is that sometimes even porn doesn't sell. After the gap are examples of several adult ventures that were a hit with everyone but consumers. Anyone lucky enough (and I do consider myself lucky) to be paid to write about porn knows that the hype needs to be taken with a grain of saltpeter. Joone is not the next Gore Verbinski, No one is the next Jenna Jameson, and let us all please wake up from the massive eyeroll that is/was corporate altporn. But someone definitely loved these doomed projects, and you will see that porn is at least 99 percent fun to make, so don't forget that there's a lot of masturbation that goes into your masturbation material. In the gallery you will see Seymore Butts' ill-fated party bus service, which was supposed to show up at your door with strippers gyrating within. You will also see an example of the short-lived "Porn for Our Troops" movement, also a good idea, but why get Jenn Steele when you can create your own at Abu Ghraib? The there was the shockingly bad (but delightfully cast) "Alpha 15: The ReEducation of Emily Devore" starring Justine Joli and Daisy Layne. Or think pieces like "The Doll Underground," or movies like "Phantom of the Porn Set" (starring the delicious Harmony Rose) that were directed so shabbily that they weren't even released. Then there's the ill-fated Nikki Nine, who helped to end Hustler's contract girl program, or Devon, who helped do the same thing to Shane's World. They weren't bad people, but their arrival hastened the end. Oh, and the "secret" Joey Buttafuoco sex tape.
