A quick backstory: my girlfriend is detransitioning. Basically, that means you transition to another gender and then you transition back to your original gender. For example, my girlfriend was transitioning to male but now she decided to detransition back to female. I have always known her as a guy so this is new to me. And I identified as gay as well, now I'm questioning.
When we had sex before, there was less emphasis on the female parts of her body. She wore a binder and we had more anal sex than PIV sex. We still had PIV but we do it doggy style most of the time.
For the past three nights, we have had some of the hottest sex ever. I realized I really love her body and I love paying attention to the more female aspects of it like her breasts and the different parts of her vagina. Now, her orgasms are more powerful and she has multiple orgasms, and she can squirt. I'm not even joking when I tell you that it's fucking hot.
I was really hesitant to admit this, but I'm really turned on by the more feminine aspects of her personality and body now. I thought I wouldn't be and it would take a toll on our relationship, so I'm so relieved.
It's just that…I feel like I've lost a huge part of me. I thought I was gay and I just wanted to fuck guys, it was a big deal for me. It took me a long time to come to that realization, and when I did it made perfect sense. Now, I don't really know what I am and who I'm attracted to, and it's kind of sad.
It shouldn't be sad because I have a rad girlfriend but I feel really incomplete now.
Does anyone have any helpful input or advice for me?