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Abstinence. What does it mean? No, really. The only time we've been abstinent in the last two decades was when we simply couldn't get any. We certainly never dreamed anyone would turn down Alektra Blue on purpose. More »
And to think, we never thought we'd live to see the day when NPR would utter the name Kink.com. How wrong we were!As part of a series on the history of the internet, All Things Considered has taken a look at the ways that adult entertainment has shaped the progress of the internet at large—with Kink.com's Peter Acworth along for the ride as a guest expert.· Thank Sex For Making The Internet Hot (npr.org)· Thumbnail star: Old school Stoya browses the internet (twitter.com)
As it turns out, Taylor Swift has one of the best upskirt photos of all time. (Of all time!)We were hoping for shiny red undies to match the dress and microphone, but we appreciate the simple look. Although not the most exciting choice, white undies are never really out of fashion. Using outdates memes to write Fleshbot posts, well, that's another story.· Taylor Swift Upskirt (taxidrivermovie.com)
No one ever gets to the actual intervention before their problems are solved. Why? Obviously you can't get your dick sucked with the whole family around.This Ain't Intervention XXXStudio: Hustler VideoDirector: Slain WayneCast: Britney Amber, Kagney Linn Karter, Raylene, Cody Love, Briana Blair, Amy Brooke, Seth Gamble, Arnold Schwarzenpecker, Jerry, Joey Brass, Brett RockmanWhen you first heard about a porn parody of A&E's Intervention series, what came to mind? Did you envision sex addicts? Naughty rehabilitation techniques? Whatever you thought of is probably more interesting than what Hustler and Slain Wayne dreamed up.Only one (two-part) vignette deals with any sex-related issue, and it's really only about Seth Gamble's chronic masturbation. Gamble is the perfect guy for this; he looks like the bad boy from every mid 1990s sitcom ever. His mother, Raylene, is tired of his masturbation getting in the way of family life, and he gets her assistants to sit with them for the intervention. However, the intervention never happens.Downstairs, Cody Love tries to get Raylene to relax with a back rub. One thing leads to the next, and they start scissoring. Sadly, the gritty Intervention-style camera displays weak resolution, and the delicate intricacies of labial smooshing are lost to the viewer. Meanwhile, Gamble is in his room with another one of Raylene's aides, Briana Blair. Blair tells Gamble he has a "huge problem," but Gamble only heard "huge cock" so he unzips his fly. Gamble fucks her with strange intimacy, often clutching her body to his, before he crudely busts on her face. He's cured! Except now Blair is stuck with him.True to its name, "This Ain't Intervention XXX" has few intervention scenes. Brett Rockman and Amy Brooke were waiting for the family to show up and talk about Brooke's gambling addiction, but a friendly game of poker became strip poker, became blowjob poker, and finally became threesome-with-sloppy-facefucking-and-anal poker when Joey Brass walked in. It's simultaneously the most daring and the most boring scene in the film, as Brooke's monotone moans color her fucking the same drab beige as the hotel room. At least her gambling addiction gets cured.The star-studded vignette about hoarding features Britney Amber as a pack rat, Kagney Linn Karter as her friend, and Jerry as some French professor who hangs out with them. They actually (briefly) have an intervention, but Karter gets frustrated and storms off followed by Jerry. Like any good, sensitive intellectual would, Jerry goes straight to eating Karter's pussy, and then flips the script with an intense bit of throatfucking that leaves her forehead covered in spit. Karter is, as always, a joy to watch, and the oral creampie at the end makes for a refreshing bit of fappable novelty in an otherwise redundant film.Britney Amber tries to steal a tripod from the cameraman, Arnold Schwarzenpecker, and then offers to trade him a blowjob for the equipment. It's a creative excuse to have a bit of POV sucking, but Schwarzenpecker drops the camera within minutes. There's nothing else remarkable about the scene, except the strange sense that Britney Amber looks like every other girl in this film.It's true, every girl in "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (with the exception of Raylene) has blonde hair with dark brown roots and squeaks when fucked. We're not demanding diverse casts for every porn, but this movie greatly suffered from redundancy and lack of creativity.A good parody considers the themes and overarching structures of its subject, and pays attention to the critical pieces of the show. For example, if you're going to poke fun at Intervention, you might want to have a few interventions in your movie. Even if you don't, you can link your fuckfest to the original show by including the counselors, the black title cards, or the joyous post-rehab reunions. Something! Anything! Please, Hustler, we need a parody fix and this was just a nasty tease.· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)· Buy "This Ain't Intervention XXX" (gamelink.com)
Lindsay Lohan wasn't the only gorgeous model featured in Purple Magazine. Freja Beha Erichsen also busted out a black and white study on... herself. She's one of our favorite subjects!She's not as voluptuous as some of the ladies we feature on Fleshbot, but gosh darnit, she's so hot. We're really into the tomboyish look, and Freja always balances her frailty with grace. Of course, full frontal nudity and high heels never hurt.· Freja Beha Erichsen: a study in androgyny (fashionising.com)
A supervirus has reduced mankind to pockets of cock-crazed Oregonian vampiresses, and our hero must learn from Ron Jeremy that the key to not becoming a vampire himself is to not feel guilty about fucking one."I Am Virgin" is the first softcore porn parody we have seen, and it features Adam Davis as an earnest and likable Jim Hanks type (yes, Jim Hanks of "Buford's Beach Bunnies") who never had the chance to lose his virginity while most of humanity was still alive.Slightly more Scientologist than "I Am Legend" in that our protagonist must first get over his guilt at vampire-fucking, "I Am Virgin" showcases Portland as a city that will virtually shut down in order that B-movies featuring cameos by Ron Jeremy be shot there.In addition to local stripper talent (our friend Kimberly Kane is also from Portland), in-again, out-again starlet Micah Moore makes an appearance in "I Am Virgin," which seems to be aimed straight at a Playboy TV audience.· Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)· Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)Official Site (iamvirginthemovie.com)Buy "I Am Virgin" (tlaraw.com)
Sasha Grey is a very pretty girl...with a very filthy mouth. We've often wondered where her dirty thoughts come from—and, um, if she'd be able to give us a few pointers.As luck would have it, Sasha was more than willing to sit down with us and offer some insight on what motivates her to say such filthy things—and what civilians like us should know before calling a partner a filthy, worthless gutterwhore. Click through the gallery to see what Sasha had to say (and to hear some examples of her mouth at work).[At left: Image of Sasha Grey courtesy of New Sensations (nsgalleries.com)] Fleshbot: Have you always been into dirty talk, or is it something you developed an interest in as you became sexually experienced?Sasha Grey: I'd say within the first year I started having sex, I started to enjoy the psychological play that goes with "dirty talk."Did you have to work to get good at talking dirty, or is it more something that came naturally?No, I think you just have to be shameless; that's half of the fulfillment for me.For you, personally, what's the main appeal of dirty talk?It's definitely the psychological war between you and your partner that I enjoy the most. It turns me on and gets my adrenaline rushing.[At left: Video clip from Adam & Eve's "The Five" (gamelink.com)] Are you very vocal in your off set sex life as well, or is it more something you do for the camera?Yes, very!Do you ever plan out things to say ahead of time, or is it mostly spur of the moment?In the past I have on camera. I've prepared things to say based on who I am working with and who the director is...it builds up the anticipation and excitement.Any tips for people looking to try dirty talk at home?If you and/or your partner feel intimidated, talk about it before hand. The great part about dirty talk is expressing improvised fantasies: you can talk about kinky things you may never do, or call your partner some very cruel things. But it's vital to establish that it's only fantasy, and you don't think your husband or boyfriend is a come guzzling fag....oh did I say too much?![At left: Video clip from Digital Playground's "Jack's Teen America #22" (digitalplayground.com)]
Karma Porn isn't the only site giving back through smut: Fleshbot Crush Object Jiz Lee has just established Karma Pervs, her own way of helping the world (and giving us more chances to ogle her naked).Here's how it works: each month, Jiz posts an exclusive photo set, along with information about a charity she's supporting this month. You, the people, pay money to see Jiz's photo set, and whatever she raises goes directly to the charity in question. (We'd make a Product Red comparison here, but since Jiz gives all the money to charity, she's even better.)This month's charity is the STOP AIDS Project, which Jiz is supporting with this lovely set of her in a red locker (shot by Courtney Trouble). If you ask us, giving never felt so good.· Karma Pervs (jizlee.com)· STOP AIDS Project (stopaids.org)
In light of Heavy Rain's full frontal surprise, we're taking a look at some of the games that have us flicking a different kind of joystick.After all, the violence of video games is well accepted and (more or less) ubiquitous. However, anything sensual or sexual from a major game developer immediately sparks controversy. Does that make the video game playing crowd prudish? Of course not! There are enough user-made nude patches and hacks to cover every console in a flesh-colored haze of jiggly fun. Anyhow, please enjoy our (non-exhaustive) gallery of graphic graphics.· Thumbnail pic via Destructoid (destructoid.com)Tomb RaiderMinutes after Tomb Raider hit the shelves, someone had dreamed up a patch to remove Lara Croft's clothing. Since the dawn of the franchise, Eidos has been hunting down the "Nude Raider" patch in an attempt to keep their heroine's grave-robbing dignity intact. Sorry, Eidos. Nothing gets in the way of our love affair with Lara.· Above, Ms. Croft in Tomb Raider II (opensorcery.net). Below, her better-rendered boobs in Tomb Raider Anniversary (tomb-raider-anniversary.com) Half-Life 2Tired of actionless, plot-developing cutscenes? Throw some nudity in there! Code crafters made a nude patch (surprise!) for Half-Life 2 that strips the sexy Alyx Vance of her sweatshirt. After all, since the dreaded Combine have a suppression field that diminishes the urge to procreate, no one will mind Alyx's liberation. But when you're trying to save the world from a mess of evil transdimensional beings, it's nice to be visually certain who the humans are.· Alyx Nude Patch (sexyandfunny.com)God of WarAs far as we know, every game in the God of War series has a hidden minigame where Kratos gets to bed multiple ancient hotties at once. You seldom get to see any goods—and you never see the actual act—but the noises are good enough that we don't even mind. We're happy the developers take the time to put these in (although they cut corners with the whole fighting grunts = fucking grunts tactic), but we're worried that some players are going to think of sex as a series of quicktime button commands.· Watch the clip at God of War II Sex Minigame (gametrailers.com)Grand Theft Auto: San AndreasNo video game sex list would be complete without brief mention of the Hot Coffee scandal that had parents and politicians foaming at the mouth. In case you hadn't heard, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas had a hidden bit of code that—with the right hack—allowed players to complete a successful date with a sex minigame. It was slightly more difficult (and far more explicit) than the clandestine sex in God of War, but all in all, overblown. If you want to see it, it's over here.· Hot Coffee (spike.com)BMX XXXAre you surprised that a video game with XXX in its title has nudity? Not only do you get boobie BMX babes, but you also get a series of random, live-action striptease videos from a nightclub called Scores. It's not like we need our nudity to make sense, but some context would be nice. Then again, we've tried a lot of different ways to get people naked, but we have yet to try undressing girls with the power of BMX.· IGN: BMX XXX (cube.ign.com) Indigo Prophecy (also known as) FahrenheitOn the eve of the final battle with the Clans (whatever that means), Carla and Lucas share a romantic love scene that requires no mods or patches on the part of the pervy gaming community. It's just a healthy, anxiety ridding expression of two individuals' affection for each other. How do we know it's healthy? Easy! Their Mental Health meters go up (note: Carla seems to have a better time than Lucas).· Romantic Scene from Indigo Prophecy (youtube.com)Max Payne 2We feel for Max Payne, we really do. Crazed drug addicts murdered his family, all of his allies are being paid to kill him, and he's stuck in a graphic novel for most of his life. It's a good thing his love interest, Mona, takes over for a few levels. It's an even better thing that someone designed a nude skin to take advantage of Mona's breast physics. More bullet time, please!· Watch the video at NSFW Nude Mona (gametrailers.com) The Sims 3We remember booting up the original Sims on Windows 98, designing a family, and waiting for the lady of our sim-mansion to take a shower so we could pause the game, enter a ton of cheat codes, and sell the shower while she was in it, thus revealing the naked washing animation in all it's curvy glory. Fortunately, the process seems to be easier with subsequent games of The Sims. Still, we hope you like your women like Barbie dolls.· Sims 3 sex - depravity uncensored (youtube.com) No More Heroes 2Ah yes, there's nothing like a save glitch to make you question the intentions of game developers. In the previous game, Travis spared Shinobu's life. Now she wants to assist him, and she refers to him as "Master." He turns down her advances because he claims to feel like "a pervy teacher in a porn." We generally don't have a problem feeling that way.· NO MORE HEROES 2 Shinobu save glitch (youtube.com)SaboteurWhen you purchase a copy of The Saboteur, you receive a golden ticket with a special code that liberates every pastie-covered nipple in the game (and believe us, there are quite a few). So when you need a break from liberating Paris from the Nazis, head on over to the brothel for a little burlesque show. You certainly won't be disappointed.· Watch the clip at The Saboteur's naked, saucy, boob-filled dancing (destructoid.com)
Sure, "Whore-Chata!" is easily the best name for a porn film we've ever heard, but does the talent live up to the title?Whore-chataStudio: Adult Source MediaDirector: Barret BladeCast: Sativa Rose, Brodi Kennedy, Kathleen Kruz, Jennifer Luv, Kat, Nick ManningPretty Peruvian Jennifer Luv gets the show started with a little striptease/interview. You know, the camera guy spares no segue getting from "Where are your parents from?" to "Let me stick this glass dildo in you." Fortunately, Nick Manning swaggers in at that exact moment and shoves his dick in Luv's mouth. Spit dripping off his cock, he spreads her on the fuschia leather couch and fucks her slow and hard, slapping her ass like Pete Townsend doing the windmill.Kathleen Kruz calls herself "Hispanic" and doesn't care to reveal a more detailed ethnic background. But if her history isn't transparent, her fishnet shirt is (what's with all the fishnet?). And her boy toy (none of the male talent is credited) certainly doesn't care about ethnicity; Kruz fluently speaks the international language of cock sucking. The positions never get more daring than slow, somewhat blasé spooning on the yellow leather couch (what's with all these couches?). The strokes never get too fast or deep, and before you know it, he's popped on her face.Want to know how to say "I'll suck your cock" in Spanish? We can't tell you, but Kat can. Kat looks extremely small sitting on her man's lap, and her hot pink braces make her appear scandalously young (if not barely legal). Braces or not, she deepthroats that enormous cock with wild abandon. She keeps at least one hand on her clit at all times, rubbing and revving the little nub to ecstasy every two minutes or so. The guy can barely keep up with all her bubbly joy.Brodi Kennedy takes a very serious approach to her interview: she answers simply and earnestly, takes her corset off with precise gestures, and doesn't mention the disturbing chill of the cold glass dildo. Her poshness melts away with she gets with her man (who looks like the guy from Smash Mouth); as soon as he sticks his head between her legs, she starts whimpering and begging for more. By the time he's ready to pop, she's slid her hot ass all over the yellow leather armchair.Finally we get to Sativa. You know she's the star of the show because Blade fucks her with a fancy steel dildo instead of a glass one. Sativa's oral skills are incomparable. They're so fine, we even get a little POV time just to emphasize her sucking supremacy. Her man graciously spends ten minutes returning the favor, working Sativa into a horny froth. Truth be told, the sucking is better than the fucking, which just comes off as clumsy and improperly angled.These five young women are all fabulously gorgeous and talented, but it feels like Barret Blade didn't give them the attention they deserve. All he contributes to "Whore-Chata!" are endorsements for Phallix, the people who make the glass dildos. And when he drowsily says something like, "I tell ya, Phallix has done it again," it just makes the whole thing seem cheap. If you're going to have product placement in porn, it might as well be for fancy dildos. Still, it's the one constant thing in the interviews, and the girls unanimously take issue with the products (they're too cold, not lubed up enough, oddly shaped), so it just seems like a waste of time.Annoying director aside, the sweet storm of Latina sugar makes "Whore-Chata!" worth watching. This is one DVD you can proudly display on your shelf (we really do love that name!).· Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)* * * * *Previously: Only The Best Porn Titles, Only The Best PornstarsBuy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)Buy "Whore-chata!" (tlaraw.com)
Your TenacityI love the way you're able to see everything through to the bitter end, no matter how fed up of doing it you are. You always finish what you've started, before moving onto something else. You could never be accused of being a quitter. You are a ProviderI love how you provide selflessly for your family, working all day, then again at night, building us a home, making everything comfortable for us, building us a future. I love the house that you've built us and I love the life that you've provided for us. Thank you. You are ReliableI love how I can always rely on you to be there. You never go off on 'flights of fancy', never go off the rails, or have emotional turmoil. I can always depend on you. You’re a solid and constant source of reassurance. Just what I need to stay grounded. You are PracticalI love the way that you can fix anything, cars, antiques, chairs, jewellery, you name it, you can fix it. I've never know anyone so talented, so capable with their hands. You are a real 'doer', an ants in your pants whirlwind of creativity!You are Intelligent I love how clever you are, the way we can talk about things together. I love your deepness, the way you can work things out easily. Anything that I don't understand, just seems pure simplicity to you. You are HandsomeI love the way in which you take care of yourself, sculpture your body and build your muscles. I love that you are lean and athletic, strong and powerful. I love the touch of your body, the hardness of your form. I love your masculinity, your strong jaw, deep set eyes, your rugged hands and of course, that which resides between your legs! You are a Fantastic LoverYou know how to turn me on, every time without fail, even persuading me when I'm not really in the mood. I love how you are an adventurous lover, always willing to try something new, never shying away from 'out of the ordinary', forever pushing the boundaries. I love how you always give more than you take, instead gaining pleasure from giving. Our lovemaking has never been surpassed and I believe it never will be. You are ThoughtfulI marvel at your thoughtfulness, the little things that you do for others. Breakfast in bed, handpicked flowers from the garden, a beer for a buddy, making a fire before you go out. You could never be accused of being selfish.You Understand MeI love how you understand me and really know what makes me tick. You know all my complexities, every inch of my psyche, every quirk, every twist and turn of my ever changing personality. I love how you won't ever let me retreat completely into my shell, won't ever let me self destruct. No-one in this world has ever come close and I believe no-one ever will.You Love MeI love how you love me, even though you know my darkest secrets, my biggest mistakes. You even love me when I'm at my most unlovable, pushing you away, withdrawing into myself. You never give up on me, never reject me and always want me, warts ‘n all. These are just 10 things that I love about you, but there are many, many more.I LOVE YOU ALWAYS, Mrs S xxx
Some might see this promo calendar for a Russian plumbing supplies company as a sign that the girly calendar trend has gone too far. Or perhaps it's a sign that it hasn't gone far enough!Sure, we've had naked girls posing on behalf of tires, naked flight attendants, naked opera stars, naked biathletes, and even naked zombies (you know, just because). But there are so many possibilities still unexplored: naked astronauts posing for NASA (in space!). Naked figure skaters! Naked human resources directors! Naked beekeepers!Just, uh, don't make the calendars for charity or anything. That never works.· Gross Girly Calendar (copyranter.blogspot.com)
