Not sure if this is the best subreddit for this question. I've been trying to date and I'm finding it difficult to find men who are after a relationship. I also happen to be reading about personality disorders and attachment theory which has led me to think that casual sex and polyamory are becoming way to accepted as normal and healthy. On the other side people who do want a relationship are needy, lonely, co-dependent, desperate, insecure, undateable. I don't think that casual sex is wrong but I think that people who prefer non-attached relationships have trouble with emotional intimacy and attachment. I'm generalising and I know everyone is different but I'm also frustrated that I'm made to feel like my wanting to be in a stable relationship is abnormal.
I am what is called a cuckquean. I enjoy and encourage my husband (M 38) to seek out and sleep with other women. He’s always had a huge sex drive I couldn’t keep up with, I doubt any woman could. We’ve played a lot of Ds games the grew deeper and more emotional until he slept with a woman as part of one and I was never so turned on in my life.
Since then he’s sought out and met several women and told me all about it. The women know the situation and enjoy being with my husband. He fits into this role well- he’s very attractive, charismatic and great in bed. I love seeing or hearing about other women’s reaction to him. AMA
Edit; This has gotten more attention that I expected. I’ll try to answer all the questions (or as many as possible). If I disappear I’ll be back on later. Also, please don’t fight or pick apart other people’s questions or comments. As long as they are genuine I don’t mind the curiosity or criticism. I know there are a lot of people that protect their interpretation of Ds and I’ve always believed people should just do what is good for them and their partner.
submitted by SilkSpektr [link] [611 comments]
I have posted a few comments, but this is a little different. I am speaking to those who have not had sex until 25+ or 30+ years of age. What were your experiences? What did you tell your partner – or did you tell them anything?
As I get older, I have a problem as looking at people my age as promiscuous for having so many partners where I have not had any. I see so many people in obviously bad relationships… it’s depressing.
I have had female friends tell me to just have relationships or sex just to get it out of the way… but I just can’t bring myself to be involved with people I am not interested in.
submitted by CrowHopper [link] [2 comments]
People often talk about how they had sex with people they didn’t really want to have sex with, and ended up regretting it afterwards. I’ve had my share of experiences like that. But I’ve also had a whole bunch of times where I ended up fooling around with people I wasn’t into, and enjoying myself with them after all. Either the touching/sucking/eating/humping/fucking turned out to feel good anyway, or I enjoyed seeing that I turned them on and that I could give them pleasure.
I was wondering if I was the only one with a somewhat solid collection of those experiences.
submitted by twiggy_trippit [link] [201 comments]
Hi reddit. There’s an app for the iphone called “snapchat” where you can send pictures to people and it can only be viewed for 10 seconds before it is automatically permanently deleted. Of course, this seems like the ideal way to send nude pics…they are viewed and then gone forever. Well many people post on different places “girls snapchat “username”” and whatnot. I enjoy exhibition and trading pics and in the past I have “friended” people I don’t know and exchanged pics. Is this wrong? The pics are deleted and I never include my face or things that would identify the pic as me. Is there something very bad I’m overlooking here? Oh, forgot to mention I am female..if that matters. Just want to be safe for sure! Thanks xoxo
submitted by 1163577705 [link] [2 comments]
OUR STORY: Four or five months into dating my now wife, we were on our way home from a bar. She was drunk, and said, “I don’t believe monogamy is realistic. Two people aren’t meant to be with each other, sexually, for ever.” A million alarms went off in my head. I silently thought the worst of her and challenged her. “What does THAT mean???” She continued, “I don’t really know what it means, specifically. But I’d love to be in a relationship where through a series of conversations, we figure it out.” Secretly, I’d always thought the same but never dared bring it up to any of my ex-girlfriends. I mean, in the past I got kicked to the couch for just saying another girl was cute.
So I thought about it… and thought about it… and we began to openly discuss it with complete honesty. My wife (then my girlfriend) admitted her bisexuality. Over time we began having sexual experiences with other women. Then, began attending swing clubs and have since been with 3 different couples. It hasn’t all been fun and easy in the sense that we both had to overcome a lot of individual fears and insecurities. We’ve also had to be 100% honest with each other no matter what. It’s brought us much closer and believe it or not, caused us to trust each other more than I’ve trusted anyone else. Before this we were both in “normal” relationships our whole lives and I could never go back. I know a lot of people and couples wonder about this, and are eager to try, but are afraid of society. I understand! We are newbies at this, but feel free to AmA.
submitted by bjk20201 [link] [5 comments]
I really would like to talk dirty to girls when i am having sex with them, but i really don’t know what is acceptable or how/when to start doing it. What has been the best way for people to do this?
submitted by vikinglord89 [link] [13 comments]
We’re going on 6 years Neither of us has ever had a physical relationship with anyone else He feels we should experience other people sexually (just sleeping with someone else individually and/or threesomes) while we’re still young and before we get to the point in our lives where we would seriously start thinking about marriage (we’re still working on our college degrees). He insists there would be no jealousy on his part and he wouldn’t regret any of his actions. I feel like getting jealous or having regrets is a serious possibility for me. He insists he would stay emotionally commited to me, and he loves me as he always has. I feel the same. His sexual appetite is larger than mine. Do I want to experience another man? My primal instincts say yes. Would I enjoy it? Probably. Do I need it? Not sure. I think he feels he needs this, but won’t admit it.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Did you/your SO experiment with other people? What were the positive/negative outcomes for your relationship?
Am I being unreasonably doubtful about this? I haven’t taken this idea off the table, but I’m worried about its potential effect on our relationship.
If we choose to do this, how should we start? Is there such thing as baby steps with this?
TL;DR: Bf wants us to have sex with other people before we’re old and married, good/bad idea? What do/ how to?
EDIT: My SO has joined the convo, you can ask him w/e. Thank you all so much for your helpful input! My bf and I will be doing lots of talking.
submitted by emmeh909 [link] [168 comments]
I’m sure this kind of post pops up here a lot, but I feel like typing out my story would be helpful to me and possibly others. Here’s my deal: I was born and raised in a religious community that bans premarital sex. While I’m sure many of the people in the religion went ahead and did it anyway, I never did, and neither did any of my siblings or my close friends, who were also all religious. I had raging hormones like any teenage boy, and I had a girlfriend throughout high school who, if she’d allowed it, I might have fucked (and then ended up feeling terribly guilty about and being certain I was going to hell). But she didn’t allow it, and I never ended up having sex as a teenager.
About seven years ago I left that religion, but most of my associations were still with people from it, which limited the dating pool of people who might possibly be willing to have sex. Also, it took me a while to come to terms with the idea of premarital sex, which I had been so conditioned to believe was wrong. I kind of suck at dating anyway, so I continued to find myself single and much too acquainted with the tender touch of my own right hand.
Well, I’m finally in a place where I mainly associate with normal, non-religious people who have sex for fun and for whom sex is just a part of life, not necessarily this huge thing that’s “reserved for marriage” or some such. And I want to be a part of that world! But at this point I’m so far behind in the game that I’m terribly insecure about the thought of having sex with someone. I feel like everyone around me has been doing it since they were teenagers, and I don’t have a fucking clue, regardless of all the porn and Dan Savage columns I’ve seen over the years. I’m also terrified of telling people I’m a virgin. I get so embarrassed at the very thought of people finding out and thinking I’m a freak or pitying me or telling me it’s cute or any such shit.
N sex, the very thing I want so badly, also terrifies me. It’s like the longer I go along without it, the more I want it (need it), but the longer I go without it the more weird I feel about still being a virgin, which seems to raise the stakes even higher. The moment I am in a situation that might start leading to sex, I get so nervous that I just don’t act like myself and it’s a turnoff to all involved. Or I just keep myself out of situations that could lead to anything happening. This behavior has sabotaged a couple beginning relationships for me.
I feel like if I could just have some goddamn sex already I could change it in my mind from this big, momentous event into just something I do, just like billions of other adults. So here are some questions I’d like to put to you folks:
Whenever someone comes here with a complex problem it seems like some user always says “Time for a divorce” or “How do people marry someone who they’re not 100% sexually compatible with?” These comments always seem to get a ton of up votes and I can’t figure out why, and it really makes me angry. Here’s why:
You don’t know all the facts, you’ve read a one sided rant No one gets married just because the sex is good, there’s soo much more to finding a partner than just sex, even if you’re a good sexual fit it’s going to be a bumpy road at one time or another People change, what could have been amazing sex early on might have gotten stale after a few years, or one partner might have new interests the other doesn’t understand Your comments are really negative and a push in the wrong direction, people aren’t here to throw away their relationships, they’re here to work on them
Hopefully some of you agree with me.
submitted by LynxRufus [link] [146 comments]
How morally wrong do you think it is to continue to view/use pictures or videos of your ex-girlfriends? Is there a grey area? If wrong, would it be worse if she’s now married? Has kids? If not wrong, why? Your thoughts?
Edit: Damn, downvoted for asking a question? come on people, reddit etiquette and all that.
submitted by KodiakDanger [link] [28 comments]
Hi r/sex. Throwaway account, for various reasons. A little background info on the story – I’m 16 years old. My girlfriend and I started having sex not so long ago, and we’ve used up the condoms that our local Family Planning center has given us. We’re not financially unsound, so I decided that I’d go and buy a box from the local pharmacy instead of taking the free ones that other people need. I ask for your pardon in advance in case I get a little more heated, or take things more personally than I should.
I walk into the Shopper’s Drug Mart, and head over to the family planning aisle, pick up a box. I walk over to the actual pharmacy desk instead of the cashier at the front – a little extra privacy from the bags they give is nice. No one is standing at the desk, so I wait there for a minute. A lady (about late forties or early fifties) comes out, looks at me and what I’m holding for a few seconds, and then says “I’ll be with you in one second. Just give me a moment”.
Normally, I’d be okay with this. I wasn’t in any rush, and I’m sure she had something better to do. Turns out I was wrong.
She walks over to one of her female coworkers and produces a stifled laughter, and whispers loudly “Look at what he’s buying!”. The pair have a little laugh together, unaware that I had heard them. She composes herself and walks over to the cash register, and rings up my purchase. Her coworker walks by, and (the first lady) says “Condoms”, and shakes her head a little bit. The other one responds with “…like he’s in grade 10!” (I assume she had started the sentence with “it looks”). I do my best to contain my anger as I pay for my things.
How is this attitude toward customers, especially younger ones, at all acceptable? There’s absolutely no reason to embarrass, belittle, or stigmatize someone who’s making a purchase with the sole purpose of keeping himself and his partner safe, and it appals me that they would openly discuss my (supposedly) private purchases like that. I’ve always heard that people got embarrassed about buying contraceptives, but I had never understood it until today. It suddenly became extremely understandable that people had a fear of it.
Now, perhaps I have interpreted this entire situation incorrectly, and perhaps they weren’t condescending, but happy that I was making such a decision. But even then, it’s ridiculously rude that they would talk (and laugh) about a purchase – I mean, you wouldn’t laugh at someone buying vitamin supplements or protein powder to keep themselves healthy, so why would you laugh at someone doing, in essence, the same thing?
This leads me to what I’ve actually come here to talk about – how can we, as a community, ensure that people (especially teenagers) don’t get put down for making the right decision? (And of those who know retail workers/pharmacists, etc, I’d urge you to remind them of this predicament, and the decision making that follows when the customer brings up such products)
submitted by SomewhatAngry [link] [125 comments]