My girlfriend and I have been talking about it for a while. I am not a virgin but she is. She always says that she really wants to and is ready, but every time we are going to she says at the last minute that she has decided that she isn’t ready. this has happened several times. any ideas why she might be doing this/what I should do. I told her it was cool and not to rush herself. Is there anything else I should have done?

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Hi. I am a 17 year old female and I have been dating my boyfriend, also 17, for almost a year. At the beginning of the relationship we talked about sex. He is not religious, so he doesn’t think premarital sex is evil or anything. However, he still said he wanted to wait until after high school. I am not religious, but I didn’t feel ready for sex either at that point. We didn’t discuss it at all after that, but we did pretty much everything but penetrative vaginal/anal sex.

Fast forward to today. We were making out and just sort of touching each other and both of us had our pants off. He grabbed my ass and pulled me towards him, sort of rubbing himself against me. It was getting dangerously close to penetration when he too his hand and started to guide his penis in.

Now, I have felt ready for sex for a long time. The only reason I’d been waiting was his reluctance. But we did not have any protection, I am pretty sure I’m ovulating right now, and I do NOT want to be a teen mom. I stopped him, said, “I dunno about this,” and he halted. He said he just wanted to feel it for a minute. It was an appealing suggestion, but then again I also feel like since it’s my first time it should be done right, not for just a minute. We should be able to go until we’re satisfied (maybe it will last a minute anyways, haha) and I shouldn’t have to worry about accidental babies. So I said, “let’s not be stupid” and he paused, nodded, and went back to what he was doing.

Then I felt weird; anticlimactic. Did I do the right thing?

It’s weird that he just suddenly wanted this today after no discussion at all. I feel lik I’m ready. How do I know?

EDIT: We are both virgins and one of the reasons he gave for waiting a bit was that sex scared him a little.

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