So my girlfriend and I have a healthy sex life and everything has been going great. However, she has recently explained to me that she would really be turned on more if I was more dominant during sex. I’m not a very dominant person so I would like some tips on how I can be what she wants. She isn’t into S&M.

EDIT: She likes very mild bondage (scarves tied around hands and stuff)

submitted by Count_of_MonteBistro [link] [11 comments]

Tiffany Thompson in Sex with a Supermodel

Before you begin: I realize that most of the wonderful men of /r/sex are a bit more enlightened than most fellas regarding safe and respectful sex. I in no way mean to attack all you glorious gentlemen! I am just writing about my personal experience. If any other women have been in similar situations, please share your stories! Same goes for men who’ve been with girls reluctant to use protection.

On with the PSA: I realized recently that every time I have had sex with a partner for the first time, they’ve made a bit of a fuss when it’s time to put on a condom. Of course I understand that for many men decreased sensitivity is a big issue. I know for some of you it can be impossible to get hard with a rubber, or perhaps you are allergic to latex. I know that the act of putting on a condom can break the wonderful sexy flow. THAT BEING SAID, if she wants to use a condom and you both want to be safe, it’s nothing short of rude and irresponsible to try to whine/excuse your way out of it. Barring extreme cases and medical conditions (in which case you’d find an alternate means of protection), put the damn condom on.

For all the ladies, here are some ways to respond to condom grinches:

Him: I don’t have a condom. Tries to move on with sex.

You: No problem! I do! [This has happened to me multiple times. It's as though they think not having a condom means they don't need one anymore... Always carry your own protection, ladies!]

Him: I can’t get hard with a condom.

You: Let’s see if we can do something about that

Him: Just the tip? Just for a little? And then I’ll put on a condom.

You: Have you been tested recently? Ain’t no such thing as “just the tip” of an STI. And do you shoot blanks or do you want a baby? Let’s have a BAAAAAABYYYY!!!!!

Okay so maybe I didn’t use that last response. But I have seen all of these excuses before. And no, I’m not just hooking up with assholes. These have all been from really sweet, respectful guys who in the moment tend to think with their peens instead of their brains. I know condoms can be frustrating. Hell, I find it damn hard to say no to a bare dick when I’m all riled up. But safe sex means no regrets, and unless you’ve both been tested and she’s on birth control/ you’ve got your tubes tied/ etc etc, you should wrap that shit up!

TL;DR: Put the condom on, dude.

submitted by ho_away_account [link] [26 comments]

Hey redditors!

I’m a 21 year old female who just got diagnosed with alopecia areata (an autoimmune condition where you lose hair) and I have lost most of the hair on my body in the past three months. Consequently, I have recently purchased a wig. It’s a cyberhair, lace cap wig. I attach it with super sticky double stick tape and it stays on pretty nicely during the day.

However, my boyfriend was just up at my school visiting and we were having some pretty intense sex. We’re both really sexual people and tend to like it a little rough . Not only did the wig loosen up/practically come off during sex, but it also made me distracted during sex. I had trouble completely enjoying myself because I was so concerned it was gonna fly off and leave me bald. My boyfriend has been great with this whole disease so I know he wouldn’t mind if it came off, but I’m not at that point yet.

Anyways, just wondering if anyone here who has had sex with a wig could offer some advice on how to really secure it during sex or could offer some advice about how to stay calm and confident during sex without worrying about it! I’m a really sexual person, and I love having sex with my boyfriend, and I don’t want this illness to limit me more than it already has.

TL;DR: recently got a wig due to hair loss from alopecia areata. looking for tips on how to keep up my normal, semi-rough sex life with boyfriend, and how to stay confident during sex with the wig on.

submitted by jives4 [link] [3 comments]

North Carolina Pastor Patrick Wooden is a rabidly anti-gay preacher who’s, well, a little obsessed with anal sex. Now, in my opinion there’s nothing wrong with being obsessed with anal sex — I can get a little obsessed with it myself, especially on Tuesdays. Hey, what’s not to be obsessed with about anal sex? Simply [...]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and two months, we’re both 18 and still in highschool. As you can guess, there’s an issue arising in our relationship: we haven’t had sex yet. Now, before you eat me alive, I have to explain that I come from a pretty sexually conservative hispanic family who’s main focus is for me to get a good college education and be successful in my career. That, for them, does not go along well with sex. They barely had the sex talk with me, I figured it all out for myself after their pathetic explanation telling me a man “pees” inside a woman. Great, I know. Anyways, me and my boyfriend have had a lot of fights about this, especially since he was my first serious boyfriend I had never even gotten as far as handjobs/blowjobs. Those alone took a long time to get to for me, three months for the handjob and three more for the blowjob. But now I do both on the regular and see how stupid I was for making the poor guy wait so long. Yet, being the normal teenage boy he is, sex is now the main goal. Although, I first have to give him credit and say he has always been very sincere and loving, saying that what matters to him is the unity, and from what he’s been through throughout his life and how his morals are set, I truly believe him, as should you. That is his main focus, because he is someone that values our relationship above all others and really wants to go the distance. That being said, he also wants it for the physical aspect. Duh. There were two times when I told him I would look for information and stuff like that, but I never did because I got to scared of the idea; I guess my parents scarred me with talk of unavoidable pregnancy. He got really upset that I had lied to him about doing the research, as he should have, and now I am on my third and last strike basically to really try hard to find all the information I can to be able to want to have sex with him, too. Because it’s not like I don’t. I do want the unity, I do want the physical aspect. But my fears of the consequences seem to overpower that. I’ve looked into contraception, and I’m thinking that the combination pill will work best for me along with a condom.

I guess what I just need is advice on contraception, personal experiences similar to mine, and other words of wisdom that will get me out of this reverie and finally let me see sanity and let me feel truly comfortable with the idea of having sex with him and having me feel unafraid of the consequences, knowing that whatever contraception method I use will pretty much work. Also, we’ve tried fingering to start stretching out my virgin vagina but I find that even him having one finger in me is quite uncomfortable and takes a while for it to go in smoothly. Any tips to help that as well would be appreciated.

TL/DR; Boyfriend of 1 year 2 months, both 18. Haven’t had sex yet; I always delayed anything sexual (handjobs, blowjobs, etc.), last strike to solve this issue with myself, need reassurance about contraception, similar experiences, words of wisdom/reassurance. Also, I seem to be the “tight” type. Tips for that as well? Get me out of this reverie so I can finally have sex with my boyfriend!

submitted by throwfarfaraway2 [link] [13 comments]

I had a threesome with one of my best friends and her boyfriend last weekend. It wasn’t a particularly planned thing – they’d talked about it (once), and she asked me the same evening that we did it. We had a short private conversation about limits because I wanted to make sure that she would be okay – I care about this person, and I don’t want to be blamed if this has a negative affect on her relationship.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I hadn’t had sex with a woman in a long time, and she is absolutely gorgeous and very energetic in bed. Her boyfriend was pretty cute too – very laid back and easy to be comfortable around. I don’t usually get a lot from vanilla sex, but this was one of the best experiences of my life.

I’m not just here to brag though. Yes, I had a great time, but I also feel like I did a really great thing for my friend. She was very insecure about squirting, to the point where she didn’t want to have an orgasm because she was afraid she might ruin my sheets. I handed her a towel, told her that I have a water resistant mattress cover, and told her not to worry about it. She was still uncomfortable – so I took the towel back, asked her to lay down next to me, and brought myself to a squirting orgasm right in front of her. She gave me a hug, jumped off the bed, and ran around my room saying “I’m so glad other people do this too!” Her boyfriend said “I told you it’s normal,” but I think she needed to see it to believe it.

She felt uncomfortable receiving oral sex, but going down on me convinced her that it’s kinda fun. Her exact quote was “[Boyfriend], I see why you like doing this now!”

It’s good to talk about sex. Things are more meaningful when they come from people we personally know and trust. We need to be less secretive about sex – we need to share with each other. Having sex with someone or in front of someone can be a really valuable learning tool (and damn, it’s fucking fun). So I’m really glad that I had a threesome. Not only was it fun for me, I think it helped my friend become a lot more comfortable with her sexuality.

submitted by ssnakeggirl [link] [18 comments]

I’ve been battling a /r/DeadBedroom situation for some years now– not as bad as some, but my wife and I had fallen under the once a month mark for some time. Feeling frustrated and hopeless, I dug around the internet for advice, and found /r/Sex.

…and all I heard from both subreddits was, “have you talked to her?” Over and over. I kept trying to explain that we just weren’t like that– sex wasn’t something we talked about directly. The response: “talk anyway”. I threw up my hands; they just didn’t get it.

Before and during my visits here, I tried all sorts of things– different approaches to sex, self-improvement, helping around the house– to limited results. Some of my efforts actually seemed to make matters worse. The only thing that really seemed to help was a massively uncomfortable talk a few months back, after which I saw gradual improvement to a tolerable frequency.

Still, I wasn’t happy. I knew I’d been vague about my desires, but felt I’d opened up as much as a could without offending or hurting my wife. Then, during an extensive exchange with EncasedMeats, something clicked: I suddenly realized that there was no good reason for me to feel sheepish about my sex drive. Society treats sex as a shameful thing, to be spoken of only in hushed tones or not at all, only because society wants to stay in the good graces of a god that I don’t even think exists. What’s more, I knew for a fact that my wife shares these exact sensibilities, but she’d been conditioned to these preposterously repressive cultural “norms” even moreso than myself.

I knew I had to talk with her again, to share my new perspective, let her know that we need to feel comfortable talking about sex, and tell her what I wanted. I also knew that I’m very bad at keeping a coherent train of thought when I’m nervous, so I composed a letter. I solicited some feedback from EncasedMeats and Maxxters, who gave me some really good advice, particularly about what I hadn’t said but ought to have. I tinkered with the wording for a few days, and finally worked up the nerve to hand her the letter last night.

I had spun all sorts of scenarios in my head, and if I didn’t expect an outright disaster, I had my fears. As it turns out, everything went better than expected. She’s open to more sex, and some more variety. She absolutely agrees with my assessment of why we’re so uptight talking about it, and wants to improve.

This is a work in progress, of course. We both have to follow through, and that won’t always feel easy or natural. And I wasn’t 100% open in the letter; I have some interests I’m still keeping to myself. Maybe mojoupgrade will help (I’ve asked her to take the test with me), but I honestly think we’re moving in a direction where I may be able to open up more over time, an unthinkable notion just a few days ago. In any event, I feel better and more optimistic about my chances for a truly satisfying sex life than… well, ever, actually.

So, yeah, when they keep saying “communicate”, they’re not kidding– it took me from hopeless to wildly optimistic in the span of just a few months. My only additional advice is to spend some time gathering your thoughts before initiating a conversation, and take the time to question your own motives and faults.

Thanks, guys. Couldn’t have done it without you.

submitted by lifeaftersex [link] [68 comments]

My wife and I are recently married, within a year and the past 5 months or so have been increasingly difficult on our sex life. Not only has the frequency and length of sex decreased but the desire on her part has also diminished.

I’m partly to blame. I was blessed/cursed with a large penis. Not a HUGE penis mind you, but I certainly don’t have anything to be ashamed over. Through the years I’ve had a lot of girls who found it a blessing and for a while my wife was one of them, now she calls it “Conan the Destroyer” and avoids it at all costs. Over the past 5 months I have “twisted her fallopian tube” which required a trip to the ER, somehow damaged her vaginal wall which caused her to bleed profusely for 2 weeks, and I have also “bottomed out” which caused her to nearly throw up from the intense pain. These are just the things she has told me about, I’m sure there are more. I can assure you, none of these injuries have occurred due to extreme sex.

When we were dating she loved sex and actually wanted to have more of it than what I felt like. However, from the day we were married something apparently changed. Over the 12 days of our honeymoon we only had sex 5 times. 3 of those times I had to basically beg her in to. A further problem of this is that our sex life is quite boring and she doesn’t want it any differently. She is a self described “feminist” who feels that sex demeans women in a way. She always make sure that she can see my face during sex and if she can’t, I can’t be in that position. While I love that she’s a strong woman, this sort of thing does get in the way of “relations” and has occasionally stopped any sexual activity if I say the wrong thing, such as “I want to fuck you so bad”. Apparently that’s a no-no. Last Christmas when we were dating I purchased her a vibrator, her first. I spent the next week apologizing for “such an insulting present” but she has used it more since then. Any additional toys or ideas of things to do on my part are shot down with extreme prejudice.

All this I could handle because I was still masturbating. I’ve jerked off since I was 13 and if there’s one thing I knew how to solve it was getting rid of my horniness. However, I have my own share of problems. One of which is that I cannot jerk off from memory. When I was younger I was Sanduskied by an older kid in the neighborhood. While I hate to admit it, one of the results is whenever I jerk off is that bad memory showing up. The way I always got around this was porn. Eyes open, jerk off, and it was fine. This is no longer allowed.

Despite my best efforts to be discreet and despite the fact that she knew I jerked off I ended up on the losing end of an argument regarding my habits. She discovered this by scouring my browser history. We spent 3 or 4 days fighting before it was resolved. In the resolution I promised to not look/jerk off to porn anymore.

Flash forward to this week. We haven’t had sex in two weeks (which was just a quicky before going to meet her parents for dinner) and before that it was a month. I ask, I basically beg, to either have sex or to jerk off. She said it was fine if I jerked off, but I just can’t look at anything (which will not work). She wanted to wait to see her lady-doctor again before having sex again. Her appointment isn’t for another week or two.

Reddit, what do I do? I love my wife dearly but I feel like this is a one way street. She can do what she needs to do, I can’t. Beyond that, how can I actually get her warmed up to the idea of trying something.

submitted by thedeadtexan [link] [599 comments]

Especially when it’s been a while?

It’s been 8 months since I had sex. 11 months since I had good sex.

I am a 23 year old female(good looking, although I don’t think that part most likely makes a difference) and I feel beyond horny right now.

By that I mean I feel a bit depressed some days when I really miss physical affection/love making and/or straight up hot sex.

I know I could go out and get laid but I need to have an emotional connection with someone to feel sexually free and safe with them.

So I have to wait until I meet that next person.

I am basically just wondering, is this normal? Do other people feel a bit off emotionally when they’re not having sex? I have a high libido in general and especially when I am in a relationship-again, don’t know if that makes a difference or not.

This is also why I could never be in a relationship that turned sexless and I feel sorry for my friends who are experiencing this. I think that must the one thing worse then being single and missing sex/physical affection, being in a relationship and missing sex/physical affection.

submitted by Ineedatranslator [link] [9 comments]