Tag Archives: Shes

Wife is vanilla and prude, but I love her with all that I am…

Throwaway, and this is a bit of a long tale, bear with me.

I have been married to my wife for 2.5 years, and, other than the sex, everything is awesome. I don’t regret the marriage one bit, and I love her more every day.

Now, we are one another’s firsts and only’s, and we waited until marriage for sex. When we were dating, though, there was a good deal of fooling around. Handjobs in the car, at movies, under the blankets at a friend’s, etc. We had dry-sex (or whatever it’s called when I have my underwear on, she’s naked, and we hump/rub). I went down on her, but she said she didn’t/couldn’t return the favor. I never pushed it.

However, our sex life is beginning to put a strain on our relationship. She was raised very conservatively/sex-is-taboo type of parenting. Our sex life consists of only two positions (missionary and cowgirl), only at bedtime, only in the bedroom. Only once. Happens every ten days or so.

Fast forward to now.

I no longer am allowed to go down on here, she says she doesn’t get into it and doesn’t like the smell (I find it pleasant, and not particularly strong).

She generally shies away from much foreplay, and then rushes right into it. Almost like she feels it’s a chore that she just wants to get done. When she rushes like this, it is painful in the beginning for her (we always use lube). The few times she allows extended foreplay (which I enjoy), it is much better for her.

She is reluctant to try new positions, and it generally goes poorly if we do. She won’t be into it at all, because she thinks its some task she must conquer, and then does not enjoy herself, or there is pain. We tried doggy-style for the first time a couple weeks ago, and she started crying from the pain. Some of this pain is due to her having titanium rods in most of her spine from a corrective surgical procedure. So of course, some positions are impossible etc. Some of it though, I believe, is because she has difficulty relaxing her inhibitions and just having fun. Everything is planned and thought out and diagrammed in her mind.

Even when we really get into it, she’s never really that into it. It’s like she’s second-guessing all her reactions. Also, I think she has a stigma that the whole thing is kinda gross–i.e. I have to put the lube on, I have to insert into her, I have to set the pace, I choose positions, and I have to initiate almost all of the time.

I, on the other hand, am almost opposite. My upbringing was fairly loose and I am very independent. I have battled off/on with a porn addiction most of my adolescent life (so I’m sure my expectations are a bit high). I masturbate regularly. My wife told me that she has never masturbated, and I believe that’s probably true.

I guess I don’t really know exactly what I’m looking for here, but I suppose hearing from people who have been through similar situations with overcoming extreme sexual inhibition would be helpful.

As this is a throwaway, I am more than willing to answer/discuss anything that anyone may deem helpful.

Thanks Sexxit!

submitted by thr0wa [link] [57 comments]

Update: Girlfriend Revealed Four Way

I posted this question about “coping” with my jealousy about my girlfriend’s past sexual activity. I received a lot of criticism (which I understand and accept) for my perceived closed-mindedness and verbal assault on her. I promised to provide an update (even though this is a throwaway and it wasn’t a popular post), so here it is.

We’re still together. She didn’t talk to me for about a week, because she wanted to get her head around things. She wasn’t “mad,” but was hurt that I had criticized her for hooking up with her best friend (who is a guy, but she’s bisexual) after she and I had started our romantic relationship. We were not exclusive, though, and I was out of line for being upset. She did lie about it, at first, but I understand her reluctance to trust my response.

We do have an issue that’s up in the air. We’re in a long distance relationship, and she is interested in casual sex with other men. She’s unusual in that she’s extremely blunt and open. I don’t think she sees these other guys as any more than sex toys. Predictably, I’m very reluctant to condone that, and (for now) she’s not going to cheat on me. I suppose it comes down to simple possessiveness, but I’m also concerned that something could develop, and I’d rather maintain a monogamous relationship.

Just to clear a couple of things up —

I never criticized her for having three-way and four-way encounters. I never slut-shamed her. I had poorly composed my initial post (I was drunk), and it did sound like I had criticized her for it.

I think open-mindedness has more to do with one’s willingness to change his mind and consider others’ opinions, than with simply accepting others’ values. I’m honestly not concerned with taking a defensive stand, but changing one’s mind and being nimble in that way is a virtue, in itself.

I’m not any better than she is, just because I’ve never had multiple partners at once. This isn’t about a double standard. I just had never had a relationship with someone who had had sex with two men (and three). I think most of us would have some sort of reaction, and I’m not sure the majority of them would be entirely neutral. I’m fallible.

So, I’m learning to suspend my initial reactions about other things, in the future. I do not have any issues with my girlfriend being promiscuous before me and understand that I’ve no right to judge her actions, absent any conflicting obligations.

I appreciate the responses, criticisms, and all. I came here looking for help and I think I got that.

Honestly, I just want to wake up each morning and be better than I was the day before.

submitted by itissolate [link] [12 comments]

Clitoral Stimulation

So my lady friend [20] falls into the category of women who only get off with clitoral stimulation. She sees this as a bad thing, despite being a semi-avid reader of /r/sex and the data saying that it’s actually not abnormal. She refers to herself as “broken” for it, which is obviously not helping her finish (pressure to orgasm, all that jazz).

She’s never been able to finish with a partner before, and she’s been sexually active considerably longer than I have (at least two years that I know of; she’s my first partner). I started out with Death Grip problems and have since gotten over them, but even when we went at it for hours she didn’t finish, despite (and this may sound conceited) my rather high speed and enthusiasm during those times.

She doesn’t want to use a vibrator during sex, as she wants things to be all natural (she’s used one to masturbate for a while, and is convinced that that’s the source of the problem), but I’d still really like to help her get there. What are some good positions so that I can stimulate her clitoris while we’re having sex without making it awkward for either or both of us? Failing that, what are some good ways to stimulate it (IE oral) when just focusing on her? I gave her a good solid half hour of oral and still didn’t get her there one night, despite my best efforts.

submitted by YakettySex [link] [3 comments]

Sex life has taken a dive due to recent weight gains, can eliminating condoms from our sex-routine help?

Ok just off the bat, this is a throwaway account and this is VERY long, skip to the end if you want my questions for sexxit and an abridged version. I wrote this as much for myself as for anyone else, but thanks for reading!

I am a 29M, and my partner is a 26F. I believe having great sex is paramount to maintaining a happy, healthy long-term relationship. I want to be with someone who will not only fulfill my own sexual needs and desires but someone whom I can do the same for as well. I like to think there should be an attraction, both physical and emotional, felt on both sides for the other. However, the physical attraction between the two will wane and a commitment to keep sex new and exciting must be a priority. In my ideal relationship the sex should be the most fulfilling and best sex I have had in my entire life, as this is going to be the only partner I am ever going to have, it may as well be the best sex ever.

As an extension of this, I’

For my 3yo cake day– suggest lingerie for a 40yo woman?

Wasn’t going to ask, but noticed it’s my cake day– that’s a sign, right??

So, my wife and I have an awesome marriage and an awesome sex life. We’ve know each other for 20 years now. She suggested to me that I buy her something new and sexy.

I have bought sexy stuff in the past, but I kind of got the feeling she wanted to feel sexy for me. She’s pretty damn good looking, but let’s be realistic, we’re both just over 40, we don’t have the same bodies we used to have.

She’s short (size M, bra 36B), brunette, and still has a really great hourglass figure, but after three kids, carries a bit of extra weight/lack of toning in her belly. I’d really like something frilly and cute sexy, not try for hot sexy. It’s my personal preference, and I think it would compliment her figure. That seems like something baby dollish or frilly boy shorts? What do you think?

submitted by ampallang [link] [comment]

Ladies, should I buy my girlfriend a vibrator?

Little bit of background.

I’m not my girlfriend’s first, but she’s definitely less experienced. She claims that she’s already had an orgasm in her life, but for the life of me, I can’t make it happen!

Small side note, I realize there is a lot more to sex than orgasms, and the rest of our sex life is very satisfying. It’s very intimate, and warm, and just makes everything fantastic!

That said, I would like to be able to please her, like she pleases me (Cue the Beatles first album).

So my question… ladies… how would you react if your boyfriend, all of a sudden, pulled out a little bullet vibrator or something during sexytime and asked if he could play with it/you?

I realize the answer here is going to vary wildly from one girl to the next. I think I just need to hear some varying opinions, I’m sure deep down I’ve already made up my mind.

submitted by ProbablyNotSwanson [link] [4 comments]

My GF gets off on being scared and has made some disturbing requests.

My GF (23) and I (25) have a VERY active, open-minded sexual relationship. Yes, she’s into rape fantasies, which is normal from what I have heard from other women, but I feel that sometimes she goes a bit overboard. First of all, she cannot get “in the mood” or “wet” unless there is force used against her. All of our sex must begin rough, which is the way she likes it. If I want sensual lovemaking, it has to be after the rough beginning, once she’s “warmed up.” I consider myself a freak, and I absolutely love her wanting to be my “dirty little whore” and “fuck slut,” but lately she’s been making requests that I haven’t been able to bring myself to do. Yes, I tie her up. Yes, I man handle her, choke her (hard), slap her (VERY hard, often with paddles and belts), but now she wants me to incorporate knife play. She gets extremely aroused with the threat of violence. She’s always playing with herself during horror movies and rape scenes. But I don’t know if I can use knives around her. To me, it just seems too risky. She doesn’t want to be cut because she passed out at the site of her own blood. She just wants to be GENUINELY SCARED… frightened for her life. And an even stranger request, is that she wants me to date rape her. Like legitimately drug her so she passes out, then have sex with her, use and degrade her lifeless body, and even take pictures to show her when she wakes up. Sometimes I talk about what I’d plan to do, and it gets her SUPER horny. But I don’t know if I could actually be aroused by that. I like my women to be INTO it, nothing makes me get off on making and witnessing a woman get off. And even if I wanted to date rape her, I wouldn’t know where to get roofies or how it would even seem to ask someone. She just wants me to do it unexpectedly when we drink one night, and to just make sure she doesn’t have anything important to do the next day. Anyways, I guess what I’m worried about is if this is healthy, and if there is a fetish for things like this. It’s obvious she’s a masochist, and I’m all about it, but this just seems like too much.

TL;DR: My GF wants me to use knives during rough sex and also date rape her. o_O

Is this a normal fetish? Anyone have experience? I really want to do it for her, but I don’t think I can…

submitted by anon7073 [link] [9 comments]

Anal experience

Me and my wife have a great open relationship both sexually and otherwise. She used to really enjoy oral sex. I’d give her the occasional rim job, which she really seemed to enjoy. She’d hint that’s what she wanted, and I’d gladly oblige. It really turned me on to the idea of anal sex. I’d gotten finger in on occasion, but only during her climax. She never acted like this wasn’t accepted. I never tried anything more.

Forward to after the birth of our child: Her sex drive was greatly diminished, but she’s getting it back. But she has become so ticklish that she cant enjoy oral sex anymore, no matter how hard i try to relax her. She knows that I’m into trying anal sex, but that seems to be the one subject she is uncomfortable talking about. She doesn’t seem to like anal licking without cunnilingus. I know her main concern is with anal to vaginal contamination, which I’ve made clear to address.

So a few months ago, for a special occasion, she tried anal for me while on top, with no condom and NO LUBE besides vaginal secretions (which is heavy at times). She went at her own pace and basically didn’t thrust at all, just full penetration. I loved it, and let her know. She climaxed while on top, so I assume it wasn’t terrible for her either (I really don’t think it was fake, she’d have no reason to). She didn’t feel comfortable talking about it, so I didn’t push it.

Now she changes the subject when I bring it up, but doesn’t say whether she’s open to the idea or not, or how the first time went. I think it seems a little taboo for her. I’m not trying to dive into anal, using Anal 101 as a guideline to ease into it.

I obviously want it more, which she knows. I don’t want to keep bringing it up and pressure her if she’s not into it. How can I bring it up without turning her off to the idea? What about the anal to vaginal concerns? She’s also mentioned the messy aspect of it, which doesn’t bother me a bit. Anything that i can do in that department to ease her worries?

submitted by AnonThrow11248 [link] [comment]

Wife is mad after recieveing anal licking.

Wife and I married 4 years, and together for 7. Last week she gave me an incredible blowjob and left it at that. The next night, feeling like a debt was owed I began to try and arouse her with some pussy rubbing. After 10 minutes of trying I could not get her wet and felt like a loser. I stopped and went to bed upset with myself and her. The next night a similar experience happens except this time she gets turned on. She was laying on her stomach and i was fingering her with one hand and playing with her butt with the other.

Here is where things got messed up. While playing with her butt I begin to spread her cheeks a bit. She has never ever ever let me even look at her butthole even once although I sneak my peeks. For some reason, that night she is letting me look at it. Being someone who likes to push his luck I started getting close with my finger. I got the usual clench that means stop but I was determined. After about 5 minutes she gets really into the fingering and I can tell she is close so I dove in. I started licking her asshole and she wasn’t stopping me. I kept going until she climaxed and then we did our cleanup and went to bed.

Now the last few days she’s been distant. She won’t have a conversation about it and she visibly upset. I feel bad for pushing her into it but I don’t feel I did anything I shouldn’t have. Has anyone else experienced a situation where you push a partner to their limit? What advice do you have going on from here? Thanks for the input.!

TL:DR licked wife’s butt. Now she’s mad.

submitted by karmasandeigo [link] [96 comments]

First Time/Nervous [SECOND UPDATE]

First Thread

Second Thread

Finally, I’m back with news!

After hanging out nearly every day and night, even with conflicting schedules, our dates got significantly more progressive in what we were doing, which is good. We didn’t just jump into shit. Each bullet is a day

First it was cuddling,

Then it was kissing,

In a relationship!

Making out,

With tongue,

Then, she asked for shirts to be off,

Thong requested, denied, but handjob,

Another handjob,

I finger her, then I get my first blowjob! Sorry for my childishness, but blowjobs rule!

Request oral sex on her, subject forcefully avoided but addressed with a forced blowjob on me… not entirely bad,

I finally perform oral sex on her, finger her again, and she has to force herself to not yell out of pleasure.. that’s good right?

Thong request accepted, her in nothing but thong, me shirtless and snuggling for 4 hours, dry humping, but not that ignorant blindfully mad dry humping. Real passionate stuff, with neck kisses and and heavy breathing.

No PIV yet. She’s… ”catholic,” but she’s stated she’s a ”bad catholic” in a joking manner. I don’t know about any PIV possibility.. soon..

But, I still wanted to say Thanks for all the advice and support. We’re both extremely happy with each other. Even though our interests are narrowed to mutual love for a few Adam Sandler movies and interest in animals, we’re hardly alike, but couldn’t be happier.

/r/sex, I am very proud to admit that this community is excellent. I’m glad the jerks and trolls like to stay out. You’re all wonderful people!

submitted by chainsaw94 [link] [1 comment]

In a romantic relationship with a girl. I happened to find out shes pre-op transgendered. She doesnt know that I know. Do I confront her?

I’ve been talking to this girl for a few months online. We met on facebook through mutual friends. We hit it off and had a lot in common, and we eventually started having cyber sex.

We’re really lovey dovey with eachother and we talk about meeting in person some day (she lives almost across the country). But I started getting suspicious of her from some of her comments and old twitter posts.

I decided to do some research on google and I found out that she’s actually not the girl she says she is, and that she has pictures of. And that she has used her screen name and her same doctored pictures on a transgender community forum a couple years ago. She openly admits there, to being a pre-op transgender person, and her local friends and family are aware of it. She says there that the pictures she uses are what she ultimately hopes to look like.

I really like her, the cybersex is really fun and we genuinely like eachother a lot. I don’t care if she’s trans.

Should I confront her about this? That I know she isn’t the one in her pictures (it’s quite obvious, I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before). Or should I keep up with the front and pretend forever not to know a thing?

Edit: One of my biggest concerns is, what if she just genuinely enjoys having a person thousands of miles away that truly believes she’s female, and she doesn’t want that spoiled for her? What if she just really really wants me to believe she’s a “natural” female?

Edit: Transgender, not transgendered. My mistake.

submitted by Sexiest_Throwaway [link] [303 comments]

Girlfriend has the weirdest fantasies. Makes me wonder about the basis of these fantasies. Any help/advice appreciated.

Yesterday we were discussing fantasies. She asked me mine and mine was the obvious three way. She smiled and naughtily said “that can be arranged”. I said, it’s just a fantasy and I’m not planning on acting on it – since I’m extremely monogamist and I know a threesome involving another girl would guilt me and also, I’m pretty happy with my sex life.

Then I moved on to ask her about hers, she mentioned 4.

A group of centaurs taking turns on her in some sort of a ceremony Having sex with a giant – by a giant she means Gulliver’s Travels type giants – one who is more than 10 feet tall (she’s tiny – 4’11”) A giant octopus shoving its tentacles so deep inside her that she could feel it hitting her uterus (is that even possible? she’s a biology major, so I’m assuming she knows better) A giant taking her from behind while she sucks on me

Most of these are in the fantasy realm, i.e. not practical at all. But one thing that does strike me is the fact that all of it involves men/creatures that have enormous appendages (giant man, giant octopus, etc). To be fair, I’m just average in my endowment and she’s always said she’s happy and that I give her the best oral sex ever.

Now, what makes me wonder is this – is she genuinely a fan of huge penises and is just saying she’s happy with me because she doesn’t want to hurt me? I’ve been wondering about this since I heard about her fantasies. These may well be just fantasies that are completely impractical, am I over-reacting based on the basis of these fantasies? Any help/advice is appreciated.

We’re both in mid 20s and have had quite a lot of experience before we met each other. We’re totally satisfied with each other when it comes to sex. Have been dating for 6 months.

UPDATE: Alright everybody. I just got home from work. Wine is ready. I’m in her favorite t-shirt and shorts. Unfortunately, I just remembered lending out my Hulk hands to a friend and not getting them back. No problem, I will not be deterred. I’ve got the video (centaurs and werewolfs, I guess?). Even though I’m not into it, I’ll watch it with my girl to get her in the mood. I’ve got a chair covered in a bedsheet to make me look like a giant and then rawrrr!

Some details that everyone seemed to be interested in:

Yes, she’s Asian

I’m not judging, not mad at my girlfriend or creeped out. My initial assumption was giant people/things = giant dongs, so was worried about her having a thing for giant penises. As EVERYONE pointed out, this is a classic case of fantasies involving giant bodies not giant penises. I.e. domination. Null hypothesis rejected. Gonna give her just that, I know how she likes it as we’ve tried it before.

Will post another update tomorrow, promise. And THANKS EVERYONE (yes, screaming thank you).

This might make people frown as it is against rediquette, I’ll let this post roll for a few hours tomorrow and then hide/delete it. I don’t want to run the chance of my girlfriend finding this and feeling all unhappy. Not being dishonest with her. Just avoiding unwanted problems in our relationship. Hope everyone understands and doesn’t hate me.

Oh, yes forgot to mention if it wasn’t obvious already. This is a throwaway. Won’t be using this account every again (after tomorrow’s update, that is). Thanks y’all.

submitted by GirlfriendsFantasies [link] [275 comments]

Best sex of my life, is with a Redditor

Long story short, we hooked up a few summers ago after finding out we had a thing for each other. We had been friends and in the past (few years prior) she dated one of my friends. This summer we both found our selves single while she is back from school. Every thing about it is great, we have tons in common, shes tech savy, she’s pretty, she’s funny, I really can’t say anything bad about the women.

Here is the thing though, I’m terrified of commitment again, and I know neither of us would truly be happy with a long distance relationship (she is going to be about 3 hours away) but we both decided that we are more or less exclusive, with no title, for the summer. I’m not asking for a life changing morals guide I’m just simply asking if what we got is acceptable in the world standards, or should we try to make something more of it? I’m completely happy with what we are, I’m just worried, I don’t want either of us to get hurt. Where should we go from here?

submitted by iismatthew [link] [2 comments]

First time naked in front of a woman (19M)

I’m a late bloomer, I know. I’ve been out on dates with girls and got a lot of attention from them but I’m shy. I could go out with more girls if I wanted but I get awkward and get anxiety. I’ve been told I’m good looking and I’m in good shape though I think I’m a little too thin.

I do have a good female friend though and she’s been a big help. She knows how weird I am around girls and I’ve followed her advice on talking to them and how to act.

Recently I had a third date with a woman that I met in school. She’s 23 so she’s a bit older and I thought that would add to my anxiety but she’s been incredibly understanding. She knows I’m a virgin so she’s been easing me into it. My friend has been preparing me for sex and gives me tips on how to respond to her. Last night my date invited me to dinner at her place and said I should spend the night.

She’s beautiful, smart and kind so I didn’t want to make it sound like I didn’t want to (I really, really did) but I didn’t want it to end badly.

We ended up making out on the couch after dinner and she’s helping me out of my clothes. I got her shirt off so she’s there in a bra and she got me down to my boxers. The moment of truth arrived. As we were kissing I stood up and she took them down.

Deep breaths…hands at my side…looked her in the eyes…

It was scary as hell, I was nervous, probably shaking some, but it was so liberating. I was horny as hell and she could see that but to be naked, completely open and free in front of a woman you like, is so wonderful. She smiled, stood up and held me. She touched me but nothing too serious, just holding a woman, naked, feeling her touch on you is so beautiful. I know people do this all the time but I never have. I just had a rush of wonderful sensations and emotions.

We didn’t have sex, though we shared a bed. I hope we do eventually get to that point though. I broke through that wall and feel much better.

Sorry if this sounds so stupid. I know I should have done much more by my age but there are a lot of reasons for that. Being ridiculously shy is one of them and that’s something I’ve been working on getting over.

Just thought I’d share. I’m pretty proud of myself now.

submitted by the_bruno [link] [28 comments]