Tag Archives: Time

Sex News: Featuring debunked data, TIME publishes anti-porn issue; the trouble with Tumblr

TIME-porn-cover

Above: TIME’s cover for April 11, 2016. Right: TIME’s cover for July 3, 1995. Both issues contain articles with debunked or falsified data on pornography.

TIME cyberporn cover

  • TIME Magazine’s next issue goes full anti-porn, leading with a centerpiece story by Peggy Orenstein revealing that TIME doesn’t fact-check its articles. Fact-free items in the article include “$ 97 billion global porn industry” (a number repeated for over 10 years w/no source) and “nearly 90% of 304 random scenes contained physical aggression toward women” (from a widely, publicly, established as debunked anti-porn paper, via Chyng Sun’s 2008 “The Price of Pleasure”). TIME’s centerpiece rests on the notion that all porn is the same (heterosexual, made by a single group of people, deliberately violent toward women). These are things everyone with an internet connection can verify are biased and bogus (check paragraph 6).
    But this isn’t the first time TIME has published false anti-porn data. For women who value their sexual agency on all sides of the porn debate, TIME done the equivalent of publishing a hysterical anti-abortion rant and calling it the only truth about the abortion issue — with all the same ties to religious right organizations. It’s kind of unbelievable to see that TIME is actually this one-sided and far, far behind the times with the issues. The article is linked below if you want to see just how absurd and inflammatory — and arguably harmful to female sexual agency — the magazine’s next issue is.
    How Porn Is Changing a Generation of Girls (TIME)
  • A hacker has gained access to admin functions on the porn website Team Skeet and is advertising a database supposedly containing email addresses, plain text passwords, names, and physical and IP addresses for over 237,000 users of the site, as well as the broader porn network, Paper Street Media (PSM).
    Hacker Breaches Porn Network, Advertises User Data on Dark Web (Motherboard)
  • Or, why I don’t cite Tumblr for porn (because I have firm rules about crediting creators and performers). Adult director Jacky St. James, whose film The Sexual Liberation of Anna Lee is featured in a GIF story that garnered more than 35,000 notes, argues that the marketing and monetization of porn seen on Tumblr is nothing short of an ethical violation.
    There’s a Problem With Tumblr Porn That We Don’t Talk About (Mic)

Thanks to our sponsor in Spain, women-run Lust Cinema.

  • According to data from Pornhub that tracked viewing patterns among female users, American women overwhelmingly favor lesbian porn. In fact, most of the western hemisphere — North, Central and South America — primarily searched for lesbian porn.
    U.S. women prefer lesbian porn, according to Pornhub (Huffington Post)
  • Women who perceive that their sexual partner is imposing perfectionist standards on them may suffer sexual dysfunction as a result, psychologists at the University of Kent have found. In the first in-depth study of how different types of sexual perfectionism affect women over a period of time, researchers also found that ‘partner-prescribed’ sexual perfectionism contributed to negative self-image.
    When women feel their partner demands perfection, sex life suffers (Eureka Alert)

Much gratitude to our thoughtful sponsor, Nubile Films.

The post Sex News: Featuring debunked data, TIME publishes anti-porn issue; the trouble with Tumblr appeared first on Violet Blue ® | Open Source Sex.

Violet Blue ® | Open Source Sex

bunnygirl: By the time you’ve excused yourself to investigate…

bunnygirl:

By the time you’ve excused yourself to investigate the source of those moans, they’ve moved into his bedroom so she can straddle him and stretch again. You’ll work your way around the balcony, just in time to see her break on him. This is when you’ll realize that it’s not that she won’t stop fucking him. It’s that she can’t stop fucking him.

You’ll have your cock in your hand, matching his tempo without realizing it. Are you pretending you’re him, or just enjoying what he can do to her? You’ll bond for a moment when you’re both watching her face, to see how beautiful she looks as she breaks yet again.

The bond will snap when he sends long strands across her shoulder to her back and down her chest. You’ll lose count of how many times he releases on her because you’re cock is painting the concrete of the balcony.

She’ll return to the party, still bearing his marks under her little black dress. No attempt to remove them. She wants everyone present to know, even if it’s just subliminally, that she’s been marked by him.

 nowshesmine

alt porn

My sex life went from almost nothing to totally insane really fast and Im afraid of what its doing to me

I’m worried this might be long and rambley… oh well.

So I made a post on reddit like a month ago about my first threesome. In fact it was the 3rd time having sex ever and I did it with 2 fairly close (now really close) friends. I was so nervous after but I was even more excited. I had a lot of fun and I really loved it. Background info: I’m a girl, in grade 10, and it was with 2 guys.

I was not a sexual girl at all up until then. My other 2 times with sex was with a long term boyfriend and it was nice but not very exciting. Well, since then me and the 2 guys have been together maybe 12 times. It’s like 3 times a week for a month now. One of the guys’ parents both work at night and he has no siblings so we always have a place to go and it’s regular. I have been having so much fun and been so happy lately. So far, only very close friends know and as far as I can tell, news hasn’t gotten out but I think that’s getting harder to watch.

It isn’t just the 3 of us all the time now. Last week I found out one of them had a friends with benefits thing going on with another girl who most people know is kind of slutty anyway. So they asked me if she could join us. I have never been even curious about girls before. I think girls are beautiful but I was never attracted to them. I told them she could come if we could trust her not to tell anyone and I wouldn’t do anything with her. She did join us and it was wierd at first but she was so comfortable with it. Basically it was like the guys were in 2 threesomes because me and her didn’t even touch each other. I was kind of wierded out. But by the end, one of the guys was really fucking her and seeing her face and body move and be so happy was really exciting for me. Seeing a girl get pleasured and have an orgasm was seriously the most arousing thing I ever saw. I got so excited I begged one of my friends to join us next time. I told her all about this from the start and she was a bit jealous and happy for me. She agreed and the four of us had a real foursome. We didn’t do much, just kissed a little and used our hands on each other but it was so different and so exciting.

That was just a few days ago. She’s still excited and wants to do it again. That’s cool, but getting so many people involved is making me think a lot more about how much more likely it is that it’s going to get out. I’ve really been considering how I’ll feel when that happens and everyone is pointing at me and calling me a slut and giving me this reputation I’ll never shake. I just don’t want to have to fight that and deny it and always worry about who thinks what about me. I’m seriously thinking it would be easier to just say fuck it, yes I’m a slut, and own up to it. A big part of me really wants to just embrace it and really dive into sex even more. I’ve never been so constantly happy all the time like I have been lately. But should I really do that? It’s so hard because everything I’m told says I should be ashamed of this and being called a slut is the worst thing ever.

Someone told me to come here because this is the place where someone might have a good answer for me. Is it worth it to have a reputation like that in high school and beyond just to have a great time? I don’t feel like I could go back to being sexless, conservative, old me now but I don’t want everyone to know I have secret sex all the time….

Anyone? Thank you…

submitted by thenewker [link] [3 comments]

Ready to leave live-in boyfriend of three years because our sex life is a disaster–please help.

I (27/f) am just about ready to leave my boyfriend of three years (32/m) because we can’t make our sex life work. I don’t have many friends I can talk to about this issue, but if anyone out there can give me some advice that might save this relationship, I would appreciate it so much. Everything else is pretty great, but all I can think about anymore is sex.

When my boyfriend and I first met, our sex life was pretty great. I would visit him during the weekends and we would have sex at least once a day, sometimes twice. He was only my second partner, while I was his 10th or so, and it was fun for both of us because I felt like I was trying things I had never done before, and he seemed to be strongly attracted to me, as I was to him.

About six months in, my boyfriend started having a hard time ejaculating during sex. I thought it was no big deal at first, but after it happened a number of times, I started to worry that maybe he wasn’t as attracted to me anymore. Our sex became less frequent, and by now (three years later) we barely have sex once a month–he never touches me, never tries to initiate, and will sometimes complain days after we do have sex that it wasn’t that good for him.

Things I have tried: lingerie–disaster. he said dressing up like that could have been fun, but because we’d been having problems the outfit just put too much pressure on him to perform, and the evening ended with me sobbing and feeling like I wanted to light the stupid outfit on fire.

blowjobs/handjobs–I try to touch him and to make it just about his pleasure sometimes, because I like doing that, but he just pushes me away

role playing–sometimes this will get him aroused, especially if I talk to him about threesomes (we both like to talk about it, but neither wants to do it), but a lot of the time he seems annoyed and says it just seems like I’m poking fun at role playing rather than “committing” to it.

sending sexy pictures–no comment from him unless I ask, and then maybe he’ll say “Oh yeah, I saw them” and smile, like, POLITELY, wtf..

I’ve tried waiting and not saying anything to see if he will approach me–nothing. I’ve tried coming on strongly (“you’re putting too much pressure on me!”) and coming on tentatively, to feel out if he is in the mood (he says “when you act so tentative it’s a huge turn off, you need to be confident”).

He cites my lack of confidence (which was not a problem at the beginning of the relationship) as the main issue for him, but I feel like he has contributed to my lack of confidence. He compares me to past sexual partners, he says he feels sexually attracted to girls he sees in public, but that he doesn’t even see me as a viable sexual outlet anymore, and he rejects me 95% of the time I approach him for sex. So, my confidence is pretty shaky at this point.

He is on a medication that has a sexual side effect (it often causes delayed ejaculation and low sex drive), but he REFUSES to admit that the medication might have anything to do with our problem. He won’t even consider it, and if I suggest it he becomes really upset. He makes me feel like it’s entirely my fault because he’s had successful sexual relationships in the past, and only has had problems with me (it should be noted, though, that I have been his second longest relationship–the first longest was in his early twenties, and the rest were all friends with benefits or girls he dated for a month or so, or long distance).

I am sitting here in tears because we just had another argument about our sex life. Last night we both couldn’t sleep and I suggested to him that he should masturbate because sometimes that helps me get to sleep. He said “really?” and proceeded to jerk off in front of me, which I thought was really hot at first, but then every time I moved in to kiss him or say something into his ear, or put my hand on him, he just kept shrugging me away and pushing away my hands. I was shocked at how quickly he got himself hard and was able to get off without any assistance from me, because it always seems like there is NOTHING I can do to get him aroused, and even then, to get him to orgasm with me.

How can a sex life that started off SO GOOD have ended up so sad? I am a very sexual person–I would like to have sex once a day or more, in a perfect world, but would settle for once or twice a week. He does not seem concerned about how totally unsatisfied I am, and makes me feel like some kind of monster for complaining, like he thinks I’m just using him for sex, but really it’s the intimacy and connection and FUN we used to have together that I miss so much.

I feel totally heartbroken. If this is really all my fault, I want to try to fix it, but I have no idea how. Every time I try I seem to fail and make things even worse. I know that it’s not sexy when I sadly proposition him for sex; I know my total lack of self esteem is a major turn off, but I honestly don’t know how to change. Please help. I know this is really long, but I really need any advice I can get.

tl;dr: My boyfriend and I once had a great sex life, but now we have “okay” sex barely once a month. He thinks is my fault because I lack confidence, and I have no idea how to make it better.

submitted by ihavehadit [link] [29 comments]

Id like to know what you guys think about my situation. 18f with a craving, no one to go to… let me explain my plan.

Basically, I moved to a big city, am attending college here, and feel that the guys I am surrounded by do not connect with me on any level whatsoever. To cut to the chase, I’m thinking of hitting up a hotel bar or a club of some sort and finding a guy to nail me. I am a virgin but I am in fact a mature adult and I know that this is what I want. I am not interested in a relationship whatsoever. I have held out for the “right guy” for such a long time and it’s really frustrating. I have immensely strong sexual urges that I have been dealing with for some time (there are no emotional problems linked with them, I’m emotionally stable, I just want to get fucked) My peers seem to think I am “too mature” and I’m basically looking for a guy who I can have sex with that is not in my ‘circle of people’ so that I don’t have to deal with any of the relational niceties.

Before I ramble on too much longer, I’ll wrap it up…. Is this really an abnormal thing for someone my age…? the fact that I want to experience carnal passion once and for all? I deeply, viscerally crave a good fucking. I am always so wrapped up in school work and deal with purely intellectual activities every waking second of the day– I feel I need to let it all out in bed.

What is your take on all of this, r/sex? Should I go through with it? Just the idea of it turns me on so much…

edit- To clarify, I’m not looking for a life changing experience, I think it’s just unhealthy to go without sex for such a long time when you have these urges.

submitted by succumbing [link] [6 comments]

I would like a truthful response regarding vaginal tightness after childbirth.

It was always a concern of mine that I wouldn’t be as ‘tight’ as I used to be. I’m 26, and I know it won’t be like an 18 year old down there but I still can’t shake that nagging feeling that I’m looser than before.

It’s been a year since I’ve had my first child and things have been going along okay. I noticed it took me a little longer to lubricate myself down there, but it’s to be expected. That’s not the problem.

Last night my husband went down on me for the first time in a while (since I finally gave in and let him do it) and it was glorious. It got me wetter than I’ve been in a while, but when it came time for penetration it felt loose to me. I don’t remember having such a lack of sensation before, no matter how wet I got. I felt loose.

We spoke about it afterward and I told him how I felt. He tried to reassure me and said it didn’t feel loose and how it was great. I don’t know if he was trying to spare me because of my state of mind at the time or what.

I’d like to get experiences from both sides. If any other women feel the same and if any other men have had this conversation with their SO’s. I need something to put my mind at ease.

submitted by charliegogo [link] [32 comments]

Is anal sex now expected?

My ex boyfriend used to try to pressure me into anal sex often, and with increasing frequency as the relationship went on. It reminded me in high school of girls being pressured by their boyfriends to have sex after some arbitrary time of being a relationship, not because they wanted to. It seems on this board that anal sex is the norm sometimes, and that every guy at least has had it. I have done some ass play stuff to find out if I would like it but I found it uncomfortable and it made me want to defecate the whole time. I never want to have anal sex, it turns me off completely. So, what do we reckon- is it now expected in relationships, and would it be a reason to end one if one party never wanted to do it?

submitted by giraffeneck45 [link] [89 comments]

Extremely stressed about fingering after touching pants with pre-ejaculate.

Ok, to start off I get extremely stressed about anything I do that’s slightly risky but this is causing me so much stress and anxiety that I need to get this off my chest. Let me also preface this by saying this is the farthest I’ve ever gone with a girl beyond making out so this also might be adding to the anxiety a bit.

I just started college as a freshman and I’ve been seeing this girl for about two weeks now and we haven’t really done anything until last night. At first we were talking in the common room on our floor and I noticed a spot of pre-ejaculate had gotten through my underwear and was showing on my pants already. I touch it with my finger in a, ew that’s gross kind a way and I readjust my pants so its a bit more subtle. So I’m about to go to bed and say goodnight and we normally do this by a quick make out, but people keep coming up during our kissing session so we decide to go to her room to make it a bit more private. We begin making out pretty intensely and after quite a bit of time we end up on the bed and begin to undress (This probably occurred at least 30 minutes after touching my pants and adjusting myself). Then after undressing (which left us both in our underwear since that’s about as far we wanted to go) which took quite a bit of time after which I began fingering her. Keep in mind the whole time we had been undressing (which probably took an additional bit of time around 30 minutes) I had been feeling her up with both of my hands which is why I think I forgot about touching my pants which took quite a bit of time and making out. Then after awhile I realized it was late and I decided to go back to my room and as soon as I sat down I started freaking out about touching my pants. This morning I looked up advice on the internet but it was very conflicting ranging from “There’s no sperm in pre-ejaculate dummy” to “even after you wash your hands from touching that stuff she might get pregnant” and most really didn’t apply to my scenario. To top it all off I haven’t told her about this since I’m afraid to freak her out over it like I am over it. But I am really not ready for a kid.

I have a feeling this may be a really stupid question but I feel like I need an outlet to get this off my chest.

submitted by not_thinking_mistake [link] [31 comments]

Multiple Orgasms for Men, a how-to.

No, this isn’t a joke. I was reading through the “Girls, what are the best things about a having a vagina?” thread and was pissed off that no-one knows guys can have multiple orgasms in one session just the same as women can. You just need to learn how to disassociate your orgasm from your ejaculation. After that you can start learning how to chain them, one after another for as long as you like. I’ve posted this before but it really annoys me that more people don’t know this so I decided to share it here again, I consider it a biannual Public Service Announcement.

A year or so ago I found a book called the multi-orgasmic man while sifting through the torrents. A lot of it sounded like eastern religious claptrap but it also contained some very useful techniques invented by the Taoists, who used sexuality as part of their religion. This might take a few weeks before you can manage it properly by the way. Just be patient. If you can’t manage it after a month then I recommend you torrent the book for further instruction: It has plenty of helpful exercises and techniques.

Now, the first thing you need to do is get to a point where you can last a decent time while masturbating, say 10-20 minutes. Keep a clock near where you normally jerk it and try to break your record each time. If you find yourself coming too quickly, slow down, breathe slower (lowers your heart rate), think of un-arousing things and be sure to keep your muscles relaxed. Also, stopping for a minute or less when you get close will help you stretch out the time and get your dick used to taking a long time to reach orgasm. Try to notice the different stages in your own arousal, especially when you near orgasm.

You will also need to become aware of your kegel muscles and strengthen them. To do this, when you are taking a piss try to completely shut off the flow of urine for a few seconds without using your hands or glutius maximus muscles. Try to do this about 10 times over the course of emptying your bladder. Now that you know what to tense you can exercise it one the commute to work of whilst checking e-mails or whenever. This should have the added benefit of making you able to last longer during sex.

Okay, once you can last 10-20 minutes it’s time for the next part. Start stimulating your perineum while you go (the patch of skin between your balls and arse). You don’t need to jam a finger up your butt, stimulating it through the skin near your ass works just as well. You only really need to throw in a couple of minutes of this near the middle of your run. When you get near orgasm, get as close as you can without actually ejaculating then stop for a few seconds before restarting slowly. Learn exactly how far you can go before you know you will ejaculate. Do this multiple times in a session, as many times as you can before losing control. At some point in one of these runs you will notice your prostate/kegel/perineum contracting rhythmically, like it does when you ejaculate except without anything coming out of your penis. Concentrate on that feeling, lay a finger lightly on your perineum, whatever to make sure you know when it is happening. What you have just done it disassociated your orgasm from your ejaculation. The first one won’t feel like much. The second one in each session will be more intense. The third more intense still. Each successive orgasm within the same session will be more intense than the last and there is nothing stopping you – save physical exhaustion – from having as many as you like. My current record is nine in a row. You may also find that when you do finally ejaculate that your cock will stay hard allowing you to keep going should you wish, though may only happen about one time in ten.

There is also nothing stopping you from learning how to do this during sex, though it is more difficult to manage. Anyway, good luck. I never did finish reading The Multi-orgasmic Man, so there may well be other nuggets of wisdom in it. Do tell me if you find any.

Here’s the link last time I posted it, for additional context and a link to the torrent file http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/oukk9/multiple_orgasms_for_men_a_howto/

submitted by InABritishAccent [link] [4 comments]

My boyfriend forced me to have sex yesterday, still a bit confused about it…

We were making out in my room, and he suddenly got all serious. This isn’t the first time we had sex, but I clearly told him no. My mom was upstairs and I just thought it was plain weird. He just pulled my pants off and started having sex with me, and he kept saying “you like it, you’re so wet.” I honestly don’t know if I liked it or not, because I came twice, but I was scared and I couldn’t look him in the eye the whole time. I didn’t really struggle with him after awhile, I mostly just did what he said. Is this what people call being submissive or is this just wrong?

submitted by Kittiebittie [link] [15 comments]

Question about orgasms

Oh hai Reddit.

I have a bit of an odd question. Every guy I’ve been with has never made me orgasm until I met my current bf. I’ve seen this as a breakthrough (I even cried after the first time he made me come, I know, I’m a sap but there’s a lot more to it than just making me come). The first time was from oral, and subsequent times have been from a vibrator.

Does it still count as him giving me the orgasm if the vibe is doing all the work? He’s also using his fingers, dick, etc for assistance.

submitted by jennycupcakes [link] [7 comments]