Hey r/sex! using a throwaway because I haven’t yet discussed this with my SO yet and just wanted to here some input from you guys first
I’m a 24 year old male dating a beautiful and wonderful girl (22) and have been her for the past 6 months. During this time, however, we’ve been dating long distance and have only spent around 3 weeks together in total. Luckily for us, our long distance relationship is finally ending and we’re planning on moving in together at the end of this month.
During our discussions on skype, we’ve discussed her starting birth control when we move in with each other. She really wants to feel the closeness the comes without using condoms (I should also add here that we’ve been both tested) and I’m absolutely on board with this. However, my major concern is her becoming less attracted to me when she starts birth control as well as the risk of a diminished libido. I’ve read that starting B/C during a relationship can be risky due a shift in what women find attractive.
One major reason for this concern is that my last relationship went to absolute hell when my ex started birth control (loss of sex drive, mood swings etc. etc.) and I’m extremely cautious now because of this.,
I should also note that we were close friends before we started dating, and during this time she was on birth control. I then moved away for a year, and when I returned we started a relationship. However, we’ve only be romantic with one another while she was off it completely. This makes me think that there was definitively a noted difference when she was on it vs. off it. She’s stated that birth control doesn’t really effect her, and that she only uses progesterone based pills.
So this is what I wanted to know from you guys, is there a chance that she could become less attracted to me when starts b/c or am I simply overreacting? I know pheromones do play a part, but we’ve developed so much of our relationship without a physical connection anyways…
Finally, I know that IUD’s are great for couples who don’t want to use a hormonal based method but I think she’s a bit hesitant to try these (evidently her friend was bent over for days in pain). I honestly would prefer if she used this method, but I absolutely don’t want to impose on her body.
I am indeed planning on discussing this with her, but I guess just wanted to hear from the community first and make sure I’m not over thinking things. Any input is welcome!
submitted by newguy12112 [link] [2 comments]
Let me give you a little back ground on all of this. My boyfriend went out of state for 2 and a half weeks, visiting some family, on a small vacation. The first week and a half, I was fine, i wasn’t sad, nor was I craving sex, (we’ve been having sex a month into our relationship, and we’ve been together for a 1 and 4 months). I am a type of girl who loves being demanded. Pulling hair, slapping ass hard, I love aggressive sex. I surprised him with some interesting pictures, and he demanded me to finger myself, and “earn my dick when he gets home”, and if i don’t show him a little more I won’t get fucked. That turned me on so much, so I did it for him. He really wanted more, but this time I said no. So he sent me something. He sent me a video jacking off to my video i sent him. I got really horny, ending up with me sending him another video. Weird thing is, I was watching the video while I was fingering myself. To the point, I always thought guys just masturbated to the videos that girls send, not the other way around. But I can’t stop watching it. Is there any other girls out there that does this?
submitted by iwouldfuckagiraffe [link] [6 comments]
It was my lovely girlfriend’s birthday yesterday and as we were saying goodbye in my car we each started to get pretty handsy with each other. The last time we did the dirty she had told me it was the best sex we’ve ever had. I was confused, it seemed like our normal but fun routine to me except i had gone all the way in with my fingers, knuckle deep. She told me it was because I was really hitting her g-spot. For the 6 months I had been following advice that I had seen on /r/sex about the g-spot being about a knuckle and a half deep. Not hers apparently, I had no clue I hadn’t been hitting it this entire time. So last night I fucking went for it. I shoved my hand down her pants only to feel her wetter than ever. I used my left hand and went as far in as I could go and used my right hand to push it in even further. I made the classic “come here” motion with my two middle fingers but it felt like my index finger was going to be ripped off and my pinky finger was gonna be crushed but I pushed through the pain. She began to moan like I’ve never heard her before, more intense and real than any porno. Meanwhile my arm was killing me but I was on a roll and kept going. She started to push herself into the seat from the pleasure and after a while had somehow crammed her head in between the headrest and seat belt all the while trying to tell me this was better than the best sex we’ve ever had. I started to put my whole body into it and moved her whole body back and forth, rocking my jeep like we were actually fucking(hard to do old jeeps are heavy). I went as long as I could but eventually my poor arm couldn’t take it anymore. I looked at the clock and was pretty shocked. I finger fucked the shit out of my girlfriend for over an hour.
Unfortunately she never reached an orgasm, we’ve had a really hard time getting her there and have only been able to do it with the help of a vibrator. I’ve done all my homework but nothing I do can push her over the edge but now I think we are close. The moral of the story is communicate with your partner for chirsts sake. She is one of those people that doesn’t like to talk about or describe sex acts im guessing due to a christian upbringing but I think I finally broke through to her last night and showed her what happens when she tells me what feels good and what doesn’t. After I was done she started pouring out different things she wanted to tell me and questions she had. It was awesome.
Also, advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: I fingerbanged the shit out of my girlfriend for over an hour on her birthday and she started to open up about what she wanted out of sex. Fuck yeah.
submitted by antonio_difagio [link] [comment]
Let me give a little background by saying that my (male) SO and I have talked about our various kinks and desires frequently and openly. I’m pansexual, and we’ve discovered that mythical creature, a “Unicorn” (unattached bisexual female willing to join a couple) with which to pursue our perversions. In the best sense possible, of course. We already sat down for a conversation where the three of us discussed what sexual activities we wanted to try, from toys to various types of penetration and other basics like oral, etc. On the logical end of things, we’ve got it covered.
Essentially, my concern lies in the emotional reactions I might have during or after. So far I must say that in the year-long relationship with my SO we have both had sexual partners outside of the relationship and neither one of us has ever had a single issue with jealousy or regret. However, I understand that I never know how exactly I am going to react until I try something, so I humbly ask my r/sex fellows for their experiences, advice, and notes on threesomes. Thanks in advance!
submitted by MedeaDemonblood [link] [4 comments]
My lady and I are both in our mid 20s, and last night we had some really rough sex. We’ve done rough stuff before, but last night we were both really drunk and I know how she loves to be dominated so I really went all out. A lot of slapping, choking, degrading name calling, going ass to mouth, etc. It was probably some of the hottest sex we’ve ever had and she even thanked me after it.
Now today, I feel like a scumbag. I’m a really nice guy and extremely respectful of women, and I can’t shake these self-deprecating thoughts I’m having about myself. I obviously got off on what we did, and so did she, but I’m having a hard time justifying that these sexual urges are OK for someone who considers himself a good man who comes from a very loving family. Sigh…just wanted to get it off my chest. Any advice?
submitted by feelinbadman [link] [94 comments]
Female throwaway here. My long-term boyfriend and I have a good love life, but he doesn’t have any fetishes he knows of. I don’t have much to do foreplay-wise. We’ve tried lots of inside-the-box sorts of things, but I’m pretty much left with touching his penis. Any fun and exciting foreplay things we could try?
Things we’ve done: outside, in car, on car, on jetski, tied-up (me), anal (on me, on him– he likes both), four different toys, with a person in the room, in shower… I’ve given him naked massages, watched porn with him, licked chocolate off him, bit him, scratched him, stripped, danced… I think I’ve touched and licked him everywhere… He’s up to try whatever, but I’ve run low on inspiration. Any ideas?
submitted by razzmatazzfantazasm [link] [1 comment]
Hey /r/sex, I was wondering if you could help me out here.
I’m dating a girl, and we’ve been sexually active for a few weeks now. At the start of all the fun, she told me that she’s never been able to achieve an orgasm with any of her previous partners, nor has she ever masturbated, let alone to fruition. I was kind of disappointed, as I love to hear a girl get off, but I was told her not to worry about it, whatever happens, happens. Now, I’m not great at penetrative sex, I have almost no stamina, but I make up for it easily with my tongue and fingers. Unfortunately we’ve still been unsuccessful and she was really starting to worry about her being “broken” or having something “wrong” with her. She spoke to her therapist who told her that it was most likely her Prozac prescription that was causing the issue. She also takes the BC pill Triphasil.
So my question is, Have any of you experienced and overcome (pun intended) this issue?
Thanks in advance, and expect the upvotes to flow freely from my mouse.
submitted by shamelessamos [link] [4 comments]
No foolies: we’ve been in love with Sovereign Syre for a long time, so we gave her a little heads up about this Field Guide and she responded with a bunch of bonus material and commentary. And just like that, we’ve become even more obsessed with this brilliant glamour model-com-adult entertainer! More
My fiancee and I are having some libido trouble. We’re both in our low 20s. As a guy, I have a pretty high libido. If possible, I’d love to have sex with my girl just about every night. And we pretty much used to for the first couple years of our relationship.
Eventually I screwed up and, to make the story short, basically cheated on her in a low point in the relationship. That was over two years ago. She ended up cheating on me about a year later in another low point. We’ve moved on quite a lot and grown quite a bit from the mistakes we’ve made in the past. Those were the only low points in the relationship that we’ve had. We’re very happy with each other in just about every other aspect of the relationship. There are a few rocks here and there, but we fit together quite well… except in bed.
Since the first incident (so it seems) intimacy has been a pretty big issue. She feels in her mind that she’s not “holding back” because she’s holding that whole event that I did against me, just as at this point I don’t hold what she did against her. Since the second incident, we’ve had a very strong, very open communication between us, which we didn’t have nailed down quite before. If anything is ever bothering us, we feel as though we can talk about it without the other person become defensive, angry, emotional, etc. Both of us keep a level head when we need to talk about things, and do so with a smile on our face. I feel as though we have a very mature level of communication at this point in our relationship, which includes talking about sex.
When we have sex, I’m always the one to initiate it. I’ll try initiating it a few nights in a row, and then end up giving up for a week, two weeks, sometimes longer because she turns me down so much. However, when we finally do have sex, for the next few days we end up having sex every night. Then something happens (like she’s tired) and the sex stops for the next few weeks. Both of us find much enjoyment out of it. It is just really hard to get her in the mood.
And we’ve talked about this quite a lot. We can’t seem to figure out what it is preventing her from passing the “start-up” barrier. We’ve talked about what does and what does not get her in the mood. Problem is, there really isn’t much that she says does get her in the mood. The few things that I know work to turn her on (like biting her lip while kissing, kissing her neck, being dominant) only work once we’ve actually started.
Nothing seems to work as far as getting her in the mood. She doesn’t enjoy talking dirty, or dirty texts. She says she never just has dirty thoughts during the day. She doesn’t get turned on by reading about other people doing things. She doesn’t get turned on by porn. I really can’t seem to figure out how to turn her on.
It ends up getting really frustrating to be turned down so much. And I’m not frustrated with her. I’m frustrated at the situation we’re in and the fact that we can’t find a middle ground. Intimacy is quite a lot more complicated than, let’s say, money issues. If we were having budget trouble, or something like that, I (being the systematic-type person that I am) would simply go through everything and figure out the solution systematically. But there’s so many emotions and other things involved with intimacy, that going about it systematically doesn’t work out so well.
We’ve gone through some lists of things that could be it. But: She hasn’t changed her birth control the whole time (she uses the patches). She says she doesn’t hold the cheating issue against me at all. I don’t feel as if my “approach” has changed in the last two years. It’s been going on so much, that I don’t feel like stress at work or school are an issue (since this has been going on for years, not just weeks or months).
One of the things she hasn’t tried yet, though, is masturbating alone. She’s someone who’s never touched herself. Since she’s been old enough to want it, she’s always had someone to essentially help her out. I think she should try it on her own and get in tune with her body and figure out what she really likes, but she doesn’t doesn’t want to do that.
I know a solution to this exists, since we used to be active, we just haven’t found it yet. If there were something she could do that would work, I believe she would try it.
tl;dr: Fiancee’s libido is squat and we don’t know what we can do to boost it as she doesn’t have anything that turns her on, yet she still does enjoy sex. What do?
submitted by UnmatchedLibidos [link] [comment]
So, I dunno if this is a submission that really needed an update since it wasn’t particularly drama-filled, but I figured I’d share the happy ending.
I followed a lot of the good advice in the comments, and things have turned out great. I have only needed to change my habits a little bit and our sex life has only gotten even more intense. I don’t know how much it’s related, but our communication has gotten a lot better as well, and we’ve ironed out a couple other (small) issues we’ve each had.
Basically, I just wanted to thank you guys. Keep up the awesome!
submitted by shh-secret [link] [5 comments]
We’ve been talking about anal sex for about 4 months now, its always been my holy grail of sex. At first I was pretty disgusted with it, but now that I’ve found the perfect girl, I can’t wait to ‘try’. We’ve been messing around with the wrong ‘destination’ but everytime, she’d tell me to wait for the right moment. Now, we’ve agreed we are gona try it out. I’m EXCITED, nervous, freaked out, can’t wait.. etc.. basically I’m afraid its gona be painful. Please gime ur first time anal experiences and tips and how to make it memorable. PLUS(Bonus): Is it better than vaginal sex?
submitted by first_time_anal [link] [1 comment]
So I’ve recently started dating a good friend of mine who’s still a virgin. He’s 25, 5 years older than me and before he had never gone past kissing. We’ve gone rather fast, oral and what not, but granted we’ve had some history in the past so it’s not as sudden as it may sound. The last time we were intimate, he had some trouble getting off. He said the oral was great, the whole experience was amazing, but because it was so much better than what he was used to, he couldn’t. We tried for hours. I’m not a virgin, and although he regards me as kind of the guide of how things are going, he’s shown emphatic excitement and eagerness to try new things. Sexxit, do you have any ideas for some fun I could introduce that wouldn’t overload him to the point of blue-balling, but slowly condition him to a healthy sexual relationship?
submitted by Throwaway_1812 [link] [1 comment]
If by “creative” you mean “ogle” and by “romance” you mean “sexy babes”, then, yes, we’ve got it. More
This is somewhat difficult to explain. Foremost I understand it’s completely irrational and absurd of me. But here goes:
I’ve had a girlfriend who I love completely, probably a little bit more than is technically “healthy”. We’ve been having sex since day one. For a good eight months of so we would have it all the time, every day, more often than not twice. Thereafter it quickly subsided to about 2-4 times a week, which continued until about a month ago when it dropped to 1-2 times a week. We’ve been together 1.5 years in all. We’ve had some fantastic sex, the best in my life, and i’d say about 85% of the time its been great. That’s besides the point, more for reference than anything else.
We’ve been apart for Christmas break. When I went to visit her… i was much less than good. A mixture of nervousness and excitement is what I am attributing it to… culminating in what I must call the worst sex we have ever had on the last day I was there. At any rate I left a week ago. Three days after I left she bought herself a vibrator. She had never even masturbated prior to this.
My concern is that I am not satisfying her anymore. I asked her if that was the problem; she got mad at me for holding a double standard. I tried to tell her my worry wasn’t that she was masturbating, more that I wasn’t satisfying her anymore. She told me of course she loved having sex with me and I should just be happy she’s trying to become more sexual. Nevertheless, this is giving me a ton of anxiety. I had to take one of my brothers Xanax last night to calm myself down. We’re talking lie in bed for two hours with the lights off without sleeping, stomach turning, crippling anxiety.Even though I know my girlfriend would love me even if my penis was torn of and eviscerated, it bothers me deeply.
I had hoped today I would be more comfortable with the matter. Common sense tells me I’m being irrational but the majority of me really believes that I’m not satisfying her anymore. I need to put this to rest, I don’t want to bother her about it anymore because I don’t want her to stop because I’m having crippling anxiety over the matter, which she definitely would do if she knew how torn I am about this.
Please help me think this through. Advice, anecdotes, it’s all welcome.
TLDR: I visited my GF of 1.5 years who had never masturbated before, we had a bunch of sex, the last time I came way too early and cut her vagina with a hang-nail, now she bought a vibrator and I’m worried it’s because of my bad performance.
We are twenty years old and love each other deeply.
submitted by adrane [link] [7 comments]