I’m currently enrolled in a sociology class, and in my discussion section I discovered that I am the ONLY woman who has talked to her partners about pregnancy. I’m also the oldest student in the class (it’s mostly freshman), and statistically speaking, I’ve probably been sexually active much longer (I… started early, although I didn’t have intercourse for a while).
At any rate, we had radically different ideas of what it means to be safe about sex. I don’t think it is enough to use contraception. I mean, it’s a good move, and you should do it, but the reality is that no contraception method is 100% effective. Combining methods makes you much safer, but there is always a chance of pregnancy, and I think that chance should be addressed. I don’t think I’m going to die in a car crash, but I’m still signed up as an organ donor. I don’t think I’m going to get pregnant (on the pill, using condoms/withdrawal) but I talk to my partners about pregnancy anyway.
It is always better to make a plan when you are not emotionally invested and it is not an emergency situation. It is better to talk about how you feel about pregnancy when you are not pregnant. I personally know that I would have an abortion, and it’s important for me to make sure my partners are on the same page. I am not willing to continue a pregnancy even if the father is pro-life, so I think that it is important for me to give the men in my life the opportunity to assess this information. If they are opposed to abortion then they should not sleep with me.
Safer sex is about risk reduction. You find methods that reduce the risks to a level that you are comfortable with, and then you make plans to deal with worst case situations. To go back to the old analogy, it’s like driving a car. Safe driving means that I use my seat-belt, look around for other drivers, follow driving law… and have insurance, and am a registered organ donor. I take steps to protect myself and I plan for the worst. I think that my attitude is influenced by the fact that I do know several people – both my peers and their mothers – who have had unintentional pregnancies. These are people I respect, people who I know were using contraception. People like me. I’ve really come to realize that even if a method is 99% effective that means that 1 person in 100 will become pregnant each year. It’s a risk I’m willing to take, but by god I am also going to plan for it.
So please, talk to your partner(s). It will only take a few minutes of your time, and it is the responsible thing to do. You need to be able to talk about sex.
submitted by ssnakeggirl [link] [9 comments]
